Yeah, like many of my peers, I'm finally done with undergraduate education. Haha, I have might screw up a paper or two this last year.. But what the heck, it's OVER!
Life is so great without the horrors of cramming for exams. I wake up and have a chance to do the things I like. I can take time to breathe and go for walks (Spring is here! Finally!).
Okay, I've a list of things to do and lots of stuff to buy.
I'm wishing my hair is long. Grow grow.
I like pretty girls. <- I was looking at some girl during my last paper. Hehe. Girls are so much more attractive than men.
Side note: Still not les. *sighs*
Life is nice and fluffy. I like good weather. I like free time. Fluffy fluffy life.
Saturday, May 05, 2007
Wednesday, May 02, 2007
Another new insight: Labels
A million thoughts (or more) go through my mind every day and I frequently get insights into things that matter to me. *Duh!*
It's during the wee hours of the morning when I'm suppose to be studying that I receive yet another brilliant insight. Okay, it's not really all that brilliant, but it helps sort my thoughts out.
Insight: Labels are very damaging.
Labels as in labelling someone as ________ (something).
e.g. You are so depressing. You are stupid. You are lazy. You are a horse/pig/dinosaur.
I mean, if you say someone is bright/creative/good looking, then that is fine. *Side note: I welcome all flattering compliments to come pouring in.*
I am just reading up my abnormal child psychology and this recurring theme against labelling keeps appearing. e.g. You shouldn't label someone ADHD. A person is more than just someone with ADHD.
I guess if my years in undergraduate psychology taught me anything, it's a sort of sensitivity towards myself (Gardner's intrapersonal intelligence). Haha, but then, I was always so ultra sensitive (towards myself at least =P).
Okay, back to my labelling issue. Labelling is bad because you create this perception of someone who might not really be that someone.
Therefore, EVERYONE HATES BEING LABELLED. Some call it character assassination. Call you what you want, but it means the same. It's naming someone something of your choice. It's like the naming your neighbour's baby. *no one is asking for your input*
Demo: Label someone materialistic
Then, you automatically bring up other things associated with materialism (love of money, immoral, lack spirituality, corrupt, etc) and attribute them to the same person. But a label is just a label, and it is only meant to describe one aspect of a person's life. Hello, we are all multifaceted creatures here.
I've received my fair share of labels throughout my 21 years on earth and have given (imposed upon others) labels that they may or may not deserved.
I guess labels make it easy for people to classify their lives into little segments that they can organize in their brains. But such organizational ease might not, and is possibly not, the appropriate definition.
Probably everyone, including me, will still go about their lives putting tiny labelling stickers on people's forehead. *ahh, the beauty of tiny post-its* But then, it's a fair (and nice) thing to keep in mind that you are not doing justice to another person's character.
It's during the wee hours of the morning when I'm suppose to be studying that I receive yet another brilliant insight. Okay, it's not really all that brilliant, but it helps sort my thoughts out.
Insight: Labels are very damaging.
Labels as in labelling someone as ________ (something).
e.g. You are so depressing. You are stupid. You are lazy. You are a horse/pig/dinosaur.
I mean, if you say someone is bright/creative/good looking, then that is fine. *Side note: I welcome all flattering compliments to come pouring in.*
I am just reading up my abnormal child psychology and this recurring theme against labelling keeps appearing. e.g. You shouldn't label someone ADHD. A person is more than just someone with ADHD.
I guess if my years in undergraduate psychology taught me anything, it's a sort of sensitivity towards myself (Gardner's intrapersonal intelligence). Haha, but then, I was always so ultra sensitive (towards myself at least =P).
Okay, back to my labelling issue. Labelling is bad because you create this perception of someone who might not really be that someone.
Therefore, EVERYONE HATES BEING LABELLED. Some call it character assassination. Call you what you want, but it means the same. It's naming someone something of your choice. It's like the naming your neighbour's baby. *no one is asking for your input*
Demo: Label someone materialistic
Then, you automatically bring up other things associated with materialism (love of money, immoral, lack spirituality, corrupt, etc) and attribute them to the same person. But a label is just a label, and it is only meant to describe one aspect of a person's life. Hello, we are all multifaceted creatures here.
I've received my fair share of labels throughout my 21 years on earth and have given (imposed upon others) labels that they may or may not deserved.
I guess labels make it easy for people to classify their lives into little segments that they can organize in their brains. But such organizational ease might not, and is possibly not, the appropriate definition.
Probably everyone, including me, will still go about their lives putting tiny labelling stickers on people's forehead. *ahh, the beauty of tiny post-its* But then, it's a fair (and nice) thing to keep in mind that you are not doing justice to another person's character.
Monday, April 30, 2007
Paved with good intentions
I'm supposed to be studying. But, you can see that I'm not.
Anyway, my random surfing allows me to stumble across this article by Colin Goh and his wife (Yen Yen). Hit me rather strongly. Haha, might have to do with the fact that I'm going to attend the same school. Oh, and my experience as a relief teacher in a rather good secondary school.. that's pretty familiar too.
Yar, I know I'm probably one of the last few people to read this article. I think it's quite well known. I'm lagging. It's probably a good time for me to read it, as compared to say, 7 years ago, when it was first written. Oh gosh, I was only in secondary 2 then! Sheesh. So young.
So if you are also like me (lagging or based overseas), here is the link: http://www.colinandyenyen.com/wordpress/paved-with-good-intentions/
Thursday, April 26, 2007
Why I want to be rich
With far too much time on my hands (not really, I'm suppose to be studying for my exams), I've figured out another one of life's pressing questions: Why I want to be rich.
I have heard lots from other less financially motivated beings about the fact that money can't make you happy. I agree life is probably very crappy if you have lots of moola but everyone hates you and you are sick and dying and ugly.
But I'm assuming not everyone hates me and I'm not sick/dying/ugly (yet) so I shall pursue wealth!
Here is my rational:
1. Money solves lots of problems.
- Makes sure there's enough food for everyone
- Everyone is comfortable
- Provides health care
- Pays for leisure/basic needs/luxury
2. I like to buy stuff
- I'm going to get myself a Galapagos tortoise if I can afford it.
'We talked once to someone who met a Galapagos tortoise at a party in a flat in San Francisco. If I recall correctly, the "owner" had brought the tortoise back fro the Galapagos on a ship for which he was a cabin boy, in the 20's or 30's. The tortoise wore heavy socks on its feet (to avoid scratching the hardwood floors) and had learned how to operate the faucets in the shower so it could enjoy a rain shower... Unfortunately, it never learned to appreciate the reason to turn OFF the shower after use, and following a bath it could be seen slopping around the flat in soggy socks...'
You heartless animal haters out there HAVE to admit that it is darn cute. I so want a tortoise.
So I need like 3K to buy a tortoise and probably lots of money left over to buy a house with a yard for it, pay for its food and socks.
Haha, so cute. I'm still fantasizing about cute tortoise with socks. *drools*
Oh yar, and I want lots of other things like yachts, shoes, clothes etc. All these require money.
3. Legacy
- I've decided to do the leave-a-legacy thing (Learnt this from OF)-> Hence, I have to earn lots of $ so I can donate it all to some cause that I support (Save the Tortoises?).
- Why the need for a legacy? I guess since I'm going to die some day, I want to leave some mark on the world.
There, money is nice and fluffy and allows me to own a tortoise. Oh, I can also pay someone to clean up tortoise poo. How nice is that. Hehe.
I have heard lots from other less financially motivated beings about the fact that money can't make you happy. I agree life is probably very crappy if you have lots of moola but everyone hates you and you are sick and dying and ugly.
But I'm assuming not everyone hates me and I'm not sick/dying/ugly (yet) so I shall pursue wealth!
Here is my rational:
1. Money solves lots of problems.
- Makes sure there's enough food for everyone
- Everyone is comfortable
- Provides health care
- Pays for leisure/basic needs/luxury
2. I like to buy stuff
- I'm going to get myself a Galapagos tortoise if I can afford it.
'We talked once to someone who met a Galapagos tortoise at a party in a flat in San Francisco. If I recall correctly, the "owner" had brought the tortoise back fro the Galapagos on a ship for which he was a cabin boy, in the 20's or 30's. The tortoise wore heavy socks on its feet (to avoid scratching the hardwood floors) and had learned how to operate the faucets in the shower so it could enjoy a rain shower... Unfortunately, it never learned to appreciate the reason to turn OFF the shower after use, and following a bath it could be seen slopping around the flat in soggy socks...'
You heartless animal haters out there HAVE to admit that it is darn cute. I so want a tortoise.
Yea the galapagos. My local petshop said they can get them for about 3 grand if I want lol.
So I need like 3K to buy a tortoise and probably lots of money left over to buy a house with a yard for it, pay for its food and socks.
Haha, so cute. I'm still fantasizing about cute tortoise with socks. *drools*
Oh yar, and I want lots of other things like yachts, shoes, clothes etc. All these require money.
3. Legacy
- I've decided to do the leave-a-legacy thing (Learnt this from OF)-> Hence, I have to earn lots of $ so I can donate it all to some cause that I support (Save the Tortoises?).
- Why the need for a legacy? I guess since I'm going to die some day, I want to leave some mark on the world.
There, money is nice and fluffy and allows me to own a tortoise. Oh, I can also pay someone to clean up tortoise poo. How nice is that. Hehe.
Wednesday, April 25, 2007
My environmentalist streak
Despite all my apathy towards the world, I believe we ought to help animals.
I like tortoise/turtles. And this website is great. It's super cute.
Oh, and I miss my tortoise. Yar, I know he is a turtle but I just like to call him tortoise.
Isn't he cute?
.
Note: I know most people disagree with my tortoise's cuteness. But still.. He is so adorable.
Falling shoe
My shoe fell off when I'm cycling. Haha, it's quite funny.
Anyway I was messing around with my gears when I found out that I couldn't cycle. The pedals were not 'gripping' the gears.
As I was attempting to figure that out, my shoe fell off.
Thankfully, the road was tiny and rather empty so I kind of cycle-walk my way back to my shoe. Haha, was so glad no cars ran over my shoe.
Some random stranger asked me whether I need help. I guess I was looking quite pathetic.
.
It's quite funny to me.. Sounds dangerous eh? Cycling with shoes that could fall off. Darn my Birkis.
.
Wearing bicycle safe shoes require socks. And I hate socks. =P
Tuesday, April 24, 2007
Middle class pains
Hm, I'm unproductive again. My exams are in like a week and I'm slacking around. I guess it's because I already have a passing grade on one of the finals.
I'm rather bored. Everyone around me is studying.
Yesterday I watched MM LKY's video on Straits Times and conveyed his message to OF.
'I do not believe 50 per cent of Singaporeans can emigrate. So as a government, and personally for me and my colleagues, my responsibility is to look after those who cannot migrate.' - MM
OF was, as usual, highly skeptical of politicians.
But I came to this general conclusion that Singapore is a rather good place for the rich or the poor. For the middle class, it's not that nice.
The middle class is too poor to buy a nice house, car and other assorted stuff. These are things the typical middle class family can afford in Canada, Australia etc. That's why they migrate, eh?
The poor: You want to be poor in Indonesia, Africa etc? Just think of those poor starving kids picking out scrap at rubbish dumps. Enough said.
The rich: Low tax, safe environment, clean. Enough moola to buy the nice houses and big cars. Low cost labour allows them to afford maids/chauffeurs, services that are VERY EXPENSIVE elsewhere.
Unfortunately, I'm typical poor middle class. I guess I can only go back when I'm rich. *sobs*
I'm rather bored. Everyone around me is studying.
Yesterday I watched MM LKY's video on Straits Times and conveyed his message to OF.
'I do not believe 50 per cent of Singaporeans can emigrate. So as a government, and personally for me and my colleagues, my responsibility is to look after those who cannot migrate.' - MM
OF was, as usual, highly skeptical of politicians.
But I came to this general conclusion that Singapore is a rather good place for the rich or the poor. For the middle class, it's not that nice.
The middle class is too poor to buy a nice house, car and other assorted stuff. These are things the typical middle class family can afford in Canada, Australia etc. That's why they migrate, eh?
The poor: You want to be poor in Indonesia, Africa etc? Just think of those poor starving kids picking out scrap at rubbish dumps. Enough said.
The rich: Low tax, safe environment, clean. Enough moola to buy the nice houses and big cars. Low cost labour allows them to afford maids/chauffeurs, services that are VERY EXPENSIVE elsewhere.
Unfortunately, I'm typical poor middle class. I guess I can only go back when I'm rich. *sobs*
Thursday, April 19, 2007
Humph-ho
Hmph! I’m sick of guys.
I was having an MSN conversation with a male friend of mine who is based in Singapore. All was normal and our conversation ventured into local versus overseas education. I mentioned that I was glad to be overseas etc. Then he shot back, that I have only gained a boyfriend, who must be rich.
-_-. Pissed off la.
It is likely, or speculated, that he was moderately fond of me back in during the days of JC. But still… must people be so upset that I’m not dating them. Sheesh.
Oh, after a few observations on my friends and their ex-es (ex-girlfriend, ex-boyfriends), I have come to yet another insightful conclusion.
1. Males don’t want to be close to their ex-es. Especially if they are dumped because their girlfriends got jio-ed away by other people.
2. Females are okay about keeping in contact with their ex-es.
Haha, I’ve verified this by asking OF whether he still wants to ‘friend’ me after we break up. He gave me a -_- (duh!) look and said something along the lines of not-if-another-guy-comes-into-the-picture.
Guys are so predictable. Hmph!
I was having an MSN conversation with a male friend of mine who is based in Singapore. All was normal and our conversation ventured into local versus overseas education. I mentioned that I was glad to be overseas etc. Then he shot back, that I have only gained a boyfriend, who must be rich.
-_-. Pissed off la.
It is likely, or speculated, that he was moderately fond of me back in during the days of JC. But still… must people be so upset that I’m not dating them. Sheesh.
Oh, after a few observations on my friends and their ex-es (ex-girlfriend, ex-boyfriends), I have come to yet another insightful conclusion.
1. Males don’t want to be close to their ex-es. Especially if they are dumped because their girlfriends got jio-ed away by other people.
2. Females are okay about keeping in contact with their ex-es.
Haha, I’ve verified this by asking OF whether he still wants to ‘friend’ me after we break up. He gave me a -_- (duh!) look and said something along the lines of not-if-another-guy-comes-into-the-picture.
Guys are so predictable. Hmph!
Good company
I have too much time on my hands after handing in my last assignment. Haha, hence, I have time to think about frivolous nonsense like why is my future bed frame going to be brown. I HATE brown. I have always wanted the white bed frame, pink bed sheets thing. Now my wonderful plans are ALL ruined. *sobs*
Anyway, I'm still going ahead with the pink sheets.. Maybe I'll get yellow. Brown and yellow, it's like Purin. Then when I place Purin on my bed, he will blend in with the sheets.
Anyway, I'm still going ahead with the pink sheets.. Maybe I'll get yellow. Brown and yellow, it's like Purin. Then when I place Purin on my bed, he will blend in with the sheets.
Purin is that yellow dog in the upper right corner of the picture.
OF bought me this cute dollhouse. Super adorable. Kekeke. But no stairs or doors. The tiny critters have to jump around to get into the different rooms.
Okay, I've figured out why I don't hang out so much with friends after dating. Yeah, great insight!
It's because your date is better company. I'm not sure about your dates, but my date usually pays for my stuff, sends me home, listens to me yak, gets drag around, looks at MY stuff, etc.
So when I go out with OF, I generally have a good time because things go MY way. I'm such a control freak. OF also makes sure I have mushrooms in my miso soup, else he will give me his. Haha. There! Beat that.
Compared this to my other friends: No free food, no extra food, no one to send me home.
Haha, my old friends are probably decent company, but new friends, I got to make forced conversations, pay for expensive food that I'm NOT interested in eating.
I guess the main problem is that I'm a total cheapskate. I'm just not willing to pay for expensive food with company that I don't really enjoy. And I can't behave like a cheapskate even though I am one! AND I HATE IT WHEN PEOPLE SPLIT THE COST OF ALL THE FOOD ON A TABLE BECAUSE I USUALLY ORDER THE CHEAP STUFF (and I eat less than others). If I'm willing to pay for cab rides, maybe going home by MYSELF wouldn't be all that terrible. All these prevent me from converting new friends into closer friends.
So poverty is oh-so-bad for making friends. And having a good date as comparison... Ah, things just get so skewed.
Wednesday, April 18, 2007
Lip balm and Tiger Balm
Today I submitted my last undergraduate essay. I'm pretty proud of my work. It's around 5000 words long.
After that, I went off to return library books and then to buy lip balm.
Here it is. Some beeswax thing. (I have no idea what beeswax is.) Anyway, it felt authentic and kind of reminded me of Tiger Balm.
Here is a picture of what Tiger Balm ointment looks like (in case you have no idea).
When I buy Tiger Balm, I've to get it in this tiny round metal container that is ridiculously hard open (vs the glass jar). Feels more nostalgic and cute! Oh yar, did I also mention that Tiger Balm in tiny metal container is also practically impossible to be located in shops. Haha, people are so into practicality. Hmph! (I'm hmph-ing at those people in distaste, in case you didn't get what's the hmph for.)
Anyway, I bought the Beeswax lip balm that reminded me of Tiger Balm. It's pretty expensive compared to other brands. Gosh there was some shiny lip balm on discount from Blistex and I retarded-ly paid $4.99 for this non-shiny Beeswax thing. I thought it's 'better' since it's in a container instead of those rolling tubes. And I thought the volume was larger.
After that, I went off to return library books and then to buy lip balm.
Here it is. Some beeswax thing. (I have no idea what beeswax is.) Anyway, it felt authentic and kind of reminded me of Tiger Balm.Here is a picture of what Tiger Balm ointment looks like (in case you have no idea).
When I buy Tiger Balm, I've to get it in this tiny round metal container that is ridiculously hard open (vs the glass jar). Feels more nostalgic and cute! Oh yar, did I also mention that Tiger Balm in tiny metal container is also practically impossible to be located in shops. Haha, people are so into practicality. Hmph! (I'm hmph-ing at those people in distaste, in case you didn't get what's the hmph for.)
Anyway, I bought the Beeswax lip balm that reminded me of Tiger Balm. It's pretty expensive compared to other brands. Gosh there was some shiny lip balm on discount from Blistex and I retarded-ly paid $4.99 for this non-shiny Beeswax thing. I thought it's 'better' since it's in a container instead of those rolling tubes. And I thought the volume was larger.
Okay, all is fine and well. It even smells pretty nice. (I asked OF to sniff it, but he got to do it at a distance. His nose hairs might fall into the lip balm. Hehehe.)
I've just tried to use it and it's almost impossible to dig the balm out of the container. The texture is SO hard. After a few rather feeble attempts using my blunt fingers, I stuck my lips into the lip balm container. (Such an ugly picture, don't imagine!) ARgH.
Now I've some balm on my lips and it feels kind of funny. Peppermint flavoured. Felt like toothpaste on my lips. Sheesh. I don't like it. I don't know. Maybe there are people out there who like the feeling of Mentos on their lips. I rather peppermint flavoured stuff be in my mouth. Yes, I read the peppermint label when I bought it. And the peppermint probably made it smell nice. But there's the minty feeling on my lips.
It's like putting Tiger Balm on your lips. Sheesh, looks like Tiger Balm, feels like Tiger Balm. Maybe I could use the beeswax thing on my bruises and sores.
Note: Now, it doesn't feel so toothpasthy. It's kind of sticky now. Ew. It's like Tiger Balm, loses its 'sting' after a while.
Tuesday, April 17, 2007
Hm, religion?
Yesterday, OF dragged me out of bed and off to church. It's one of the first few times we have gone to church in year 2007. OF rationalized: The lack of attendance was due to his high school workload.
Anyway, as usual, I'm slouching on the pew bench because the pastor is not terribly exciting. OF said I need to sit up straight because that would be a sign of respect. I still don't comprehend why good posture = respect. *-_-??*
Back home, I thought about assorted stuff. I haven't decided on a religion yet. I think religion is a rather good thing, provided you don't go around proclaiming jihad to others. I mean, those horrid prisoners who took up religion and became good. How bad is that?
Okay. I was asking OF why don't we ask those yin-yang yan3* people to ask the ghosts what religion to believe. OF was going: Those might be some bad spirits, might not be true.. etc.
But there are also lots of funny people back in the past who might have had schizophrenia. Then, they could have gone about proclaiming to be God. If they were charismatic and not too nutty, enough people could have believed them. *horrors* It's a sort of modern day cult.
So how do you know that the "accepted" religions like Christianity, Islam etc are not created by some schizophrenic guy running amok?
Anyway, I don't know. I don't even know whether the yin-yang people really see what they see. OF says they are delusional. But I still want to know. What do yin-yang yan3 people believe in? Do they have a religion? Or do they only know that there exists ghosts wandering around but they have no idea where rest of the un-ghost are.
Disclaimer: This is just a random bunch of questions. Don't get oh-so-worked up.
* yin-yang yan3: Having the ability to see dead people/ghosts
Anyway, as usual, I'm slouching on the pew bench because the pastor is not terribly exciting. OF said I need to sit up straight because that would be a sign of respect. I still don't comprehend why good posture = respect. *-_-??*
Back home, I thought about assorted stuff. I haven't decided on a religion yet. I think religion is a rather good thing, provided you don't go around proclaiming jihad to others. I mean, those horrid prisoners who took up religion and became good. How bad is that?
Okay. I was asking OF why don't we ask those yin-yang yan3* people to ask the ghosts what religion to believe. OF was going: Those might be some bad spirits, might not be true.. etc.
But there are also lots of funny people back in the past who might have had schizophrenia. Then, they could have gone about proclaiming to be God. If they were charismatic and not too nutty, enough people could have believed them. *horrors* It's a sort of modern day cult.
So how do you know that the "accepted" religions like Christianity, Islam etc are not created by some schizophrenic guy running amok?
Anyway, I don't know. I don't even know whether the yin-yang people really see what they see. OF says they are delusional. But I still want to know. What do yin-yang yan3 people believe in? Do they have a religion? Or do they only know that there exists ghosts wandering around but they have no idea where rest of the un-ghost are.
Disclaimer: This is just a random bunch of questions. Don't get oh-so-worked up.
* yin-yang yan3: Having the ability to see dead people/ghosts
Thursday, April 12, 2007
Cookies!!!
I was bored and hungry last night at around 2:30 am. So I baked cookies. Here is the recipe for Nutella Kisses! My cookies look cute and round eh! Anyway, I took much longer than expected and went to bed around 4:30 am instead of the expected 3 ish.
Oh yar, I also burned the bottom of some (quite a lot actually) cookies. Darn it. Cos I was baking using this new tray which is apparently too 'good'. Conducts heat too well. Top of cookie is not well cooked, bottom is cao ta*.
So cute eh?!
The flatter ones are better and not cao ta at the bottom.
This is Purin and he has a new hat!
Oh yar, I also burned the bottom of some (quite a lot actually) cookies. Darn it. Cos I was baking using this new tray which is apparently too 'good'. Conducts heat too well. Top of cookie is not well cooked, bottom is cao ta*.
So cute eh?!
The flatter ones are better and not cao ta at the bottom.
.
.
.
Now prepare for the totally frivolous.
.
.
.
This is Purin and he has a new hat!
Haha! Magical eh?
I should name the cookies: Purin's Beret.
Lala, my purin is so CUTE. *squeeze purin*
.
* cao ta: Singlish, burnt.
Tuesday, April 10, 2007
Almost at the end
1 more week of school and I'm done with undergraduate education. Then I have a 2 week study break, then 2 exams, then FREEDOM!
Freedom to slack? Haha, provided I don't fail anything and have to redo my courses. *horrors*
Hm, anyway, I'm going to leave Toronto soon. I seem to have a tendency to leave a whirlwind of destruction and emotional wreck where ever I go. Oh gosh, maybe I'm one of those people who feed off such stimulation.
Okay, maybe it is NOT all so bad. More of lingering negativity rather than utter devastation. But I'm starting to see a familiar cycle repeat itself.
Note: My prof says: If something happens to you once, maybe it's them. Twice, maybe it's bad luck. Thrice, it's you.
Enter new place. Make friends. Someone likes me. Nothing blossoms. Rejected one (ones) hates me. People bo-song4* me for my indifference towards them or for some other reasons that I haven't quite fathom. I'm not close to the main group. Friendships with others.
So what have I learnt:
People don't like being rejected. Men (boys) hate you after getting their ego shattered. (Hey, I reject people very nicely k...)
People don't like my indifference. I guess I'm too individualistic and just don't follow along with the crowd. (All I can remember is people being displeased when I don't attend all class gatherings, sit with class table etc etc. I guess I have more fun or am more comfortable with others.)
I guess this 'group' thing is really quite Singaporean. To go along with the crowd and all. And I seem to stick out like a sore thumb when I don't conform. Some people, such as OF, get away with it because he just blends in/fades into the background. Can you imagine people being pissed at him for skipping class gatherings? Nope!!!
So being rather egocentric, I've decided that people value their self worth based upon my affirmation. I guess this is true in the case of romantic rejections. For the other non-romantic (maybe?) group issue, I don't know what's up with them. I have my hunches that it got to do with the fact that I seem rather spoilt and privileged and that I seem to get what I want. Jealousy? Maybe. People don't like people who have it so easy. Come on, don't lie to yourself, you get irritated when peers (who are not close to you) have good things happen to them (especially when you are dissatisfied with your life).
So am I supposed to look ugly and gross and so no one will like me? (Oh-gosh, guys fall for any creature in a skirt. That's for another blog entry.) Am I supposed to conform and do retarded things that are a TOTAL waste of my time and money just to be with the crowd?
I hope not. Maybe now, that people are growing OLDER and more self assured, I can traverse this new phase of my life with less wreckage.
Note 1: Things are very possibly not as bad as portrayed. But what the heck, it's my blog.
Note 2: Suddenly, it occurred to me that such things (negativity and group-think issue) are started/due to the MALES in the group. Hm, this gives me another reason to hate men.
*bo-song4: Singlish; displeased with, not happy with.
Freedom to slack? Haha, provided I don't fail anything and have to redo my courses. *horrors*
Hm, anyway, I'm going to leave Toronto soon. I seem to have a tendency to leave a whirlwind of destruction and emotional wreck where ever I go. Oh gosh, maybe I'm one of those people who feed off such stimulation.
Okay, maybe it is NOT all so bad. More of lingering negativity rather than utter devastation. But I'm starting to see a familiar cycle repeat itself.
Note: My prof says: If something happens to you once, maybe it's them. Twice, maybe it's bad luck. Thrice, it's you.
Enter new place. Make friends. Someone likes me. Nothing blossoms. Rejected one (ones) hates me. People bo-song4* me for my indifference towards them or for some other reasons that I haven't quite fathom. I'm not close to the main group. Friendships with others.
So what have I learnt:
People don't like being rejected. Men (boys) hate you after getting their ego shattered. (Hey, I reject people very nicely k...)
People don't like my indifference. I guess I'm too individualistic and just don't follow along with the crowd. (All I can remember is people being displeased when I don't attend all class gatherings, sit with class table etc etc. I guess I have more fun or am more comfortable with others.)
I guess this 'group' thing is really quite Singaporean. To go along with the crowd and all. And I seem to stick out like a sore thumb when I don't conform. Some people, such as OF, get away with it because he just blends in/fades into the background. Can you imagine people being pissed at him for skipping class gatherings? Nope!!!
So being rather egocentric, I've decided that people value their self worth based upon my affirmation. I guess this is true in the case of romantic rejections. For the other non-romantic (maybe?) group issue, I don't know what's up with them. I have my hunches that it got to do with the fact that I seem rather spoilt and privileged and that I seem to get what I want. Jealousy? Maybe. People don't like people who have it so easy. Come on, don't lie to yourself, you get irritated when peers (who are not close to you) have good things happen to them (especially when you are dissatisfied with your life).
So am I supposed to look ugly and gross and so no one will like me? (Oh-gosh, guys fall for any creature in a skirt. That's for another blog entry.) Am I supposed to conform and do retarded things that are a TOTAL waste of my time and money just to be with the crowd?
I hope not. Maybe now, that people are growing OLDER and more self assured, I can traverse this new phase of my life with less wreckage.
Note 1: Things are very possibly not as bad as portrayed. But what the heck, it's my blog.
Note 2: Suddenly, it occurred to me that such things (negativity and group-think issue) are started/due to the MALES in the group. Hm, this gives me another reason to hate men.
*bo-song4: Singlish; displeased with, not happy with.
Saturday, April 07, 2007
Trying too hard
It has become apparent to me that one must not try too hard, or appear to try hard.
Make up: You have to look naturally beautiful. Sheesh, the make up should look like it is not there. Make up is meant to cover up your ugly flaws, but you can't look like you slap on too much or else you will be trying too hard to look good.
Academia: You have to get good grades without studying too much. Else you will just be a mugger toad. People take great pains to look like they are not working so hard.
Interpersonal: You have to be nice and sociable without trying so hard to fit into a group. People should love you and accept you without you trying. But how do you get yourself into such situations without trying? Things just don't work this way.
Dating: You can't be, or look desperate. Enough said.
Style: Your wardrobe should be casually put together, yet still oh-so-stylish.
Blogging: You have to be interesting without appearing like you are trying to be interesting. (Haha, ran out of ideas.. so I'm not going to TRY to write more.)
Happy Easter!
Make up: You have to look naturally beautiful. Sheesh, the make up should look like it is not there. Make up is meant to cover up your ugly flaws, but you can't look like you slap on too much or else you will be trying too hard to look good.
Academia: You have to get good grades without studying too much. Else you will just be a mugger toad. People take great pains to look like they are not working so hard.
Interpersonal: You have to be nice and sociable without trying so hard to fit into a group. People should love you and accept you without you trying. But how do you get yourself into such situations without trying? Things just don't work this way.
Dating: You can't be, or look desperate. Enough said.
Style: Your wardrobe should be casually put together, yet still oh-so-stylish.
Blogging: You have to be interesting without appearing like you are trying to be interesting. (Haha, ran out of ideas.. so I'm not going to TRY to write more.)
Happy Easter!
Wednesday, April 04, 2007
I feel....
Oh gosh, I just came across this rather fun website about people's feelings. (wefeelfine.org) You can play around with the data, look at differences between genders, countries etc. It is pretty and all colourful, just the sort of thing I like. I especially like reading the mumblings of Singaporeans. Haha.. Lots of Singlish!
But check this out. Singapore is actually the saddest city, and also one of the loneliest. This might not be the most scientific way to go about evaluating cities, but it does hold some element of truth. (Why else would I go: Ah, why I am not surprised.)
Side note:
I feel un-understood. It's not really misunderstood. More like a feeling that one doesn't get what I'm trying to convey. It's a lack of the Ah-ha sensation. I feel I have so much to say yet all my words seem to be like balls rolling down this darken funnel to nowhere. (It's really what I see in my mind: balls rolling down a dark funnel. I don't hear the balls reaching any potential end. It's just the sound of them spinning around. The sounds grow fainter, but I still hear them.)
I keep getting hints or should I call them, obvious in-your-face signals, about the missing kindred feeling I'm seeking.
I'm such a problematic soul. Nothing seems good enough for me.
But check this out. Singapore is actually the saddest city, and also one of the loneliest. This might not be the most scientific way to go about evaluating cities, but it does hold some element of truth. (Why else would I go: Ah, why I am not surprised.)
Side note:
I feel un-understood. It's not really misunderstood. More like a feeling that one doesn't get what I'm trying to convey. It's a lack of the Ah-ha sensation. I feel I have so much to say yet all my words seem to be like balls rolling down this darken funnel to nowhere. (It's really what I see in my mind: balls rolling down a dark funnel. I don't hear the balls reaching any potential end. It's just the sound of them spinning around. The sounds grow fainter, but I still hear them.)
I keep getting hints or should I call them, obvious in-your-face signals, about the missing kindred feeling I'm seeking.
I'm such a problematic soul. Nothing seems good enough for me.
Tuesday, April 03, 2007
20-something and still single
It is crappy to be single in your 20s. Your new friends are all superficial acquaintances who are prone to leaving you in shit holes. Your closer friends are attached and their best friend is their partner. You have lots to say but no one to share it with. You end up doing lots of things alone, as it is no longer possible to drag people to events, shopping, conventions, things that only you care about. You hate Valentine's, Christmas, New Year, March Break etc because you have no one to spend the days with. There is nothing to look forward to on your birthday. Stop lying to yourself that the surprise birthday party thrown together by your casual friends is JUST what you are expecting. You rather spend a quiet evening with someone who really cares about you (or with a group of friends and THAT special someone).
People around you are getting married and you are still mindlessly wandering around the realms of singlehood. You work hard and achieve success in many areas, but there is no one to share the joy. Money is a lot less fun when you have no one to spend it on or to spend it with. You fear becoming that cranky old man/woman who lives alone and dies alone.
You want children, at least some time in the future, but see no potential mate. You are bored and have no one to call. You are on MSN far too often. No one really cares if you look gross and have food stuck between your teeth. You don't know who you can turn to if you need help.
And time passes so slowly.
Don't worry too much, you are just stuck in Erikson's Intimacy vs Isolation stage. (see picture below) I'm not saying it's good to be single and to die alone but have faith that many are stuck in the same position. (If you are the only one in that situation then you ought to feel really shithole-ish. I mean who are you going to pair up with?)
Thus, the need for belonging and love is oh-so-important (see picture below). You need it before you can move on to things like self-esteem and self-actualisation, i.e. things that will make you truly blissful.
People around you are getting married and you are still mindlessly wandering around the realms of singlehood. You work hard and achieve success in many areas, but there is no one to share the joy. Money is a lot less fun when you have no one to spend it on or to spend it with. You fear becoming that cranky old man/woman who lives alone and dies alone.
You want children, at least some time in the future, but see no potential mate. You are bored and have no one to call. You are on MSN far too often. No one really cares if you look gross and have food stuck between your teeth. You don't know who you can turn to if you need help.
And time passes so slowly.
Don't worry too much, you are just stuck in Erikson's Intimacy vs Isolation stage. (see picture below) I'm not saying it's good to be single and to die alone but have faith that many are stuck in the same position. (If you are the only one in that situation then you ought to feel really shithole-ish. I mean who are you going to pair up with?)
Thus, the need for belonging and love is oh-so-important (see picture below). You need it before you can move on to things like self-esteem and self-actualisation, i.e. things that will make you truly blissful.
So, I'm not denying that it's crappy to be single in your 20s. It's nothing wrong and in fact, really quite common. It's okay to want companionship. Hahaha, why do people feel so bad acknowledging they want company. Everyone agrees that they want success, but few want to come across as someone who wants love. Ah, it's the single and desperate thing. Nothing wrong to be desperate for love, just don't come across as one. Society prefers people who are more indifferent about it. (You probably lower your potential if you look so desperate. People want to date people who have CHOICES, aka, more than 1 person liking you.)
Sunday, April 01, 2007
Tinge of Irritation
As I grew older, I became more skeptical. (My JC math teacher was going: You are so skeptical.) I guess more of my experiences with people are fraught with negativity and laced with intentions.
In my teenage years, dissatisfaction at relationships mainly arose from parental issues and below-expectations dates.
Now, my trusted friends are limited to those from my secondary school past. These are people who grew up with me and watched me do stupid things. They may judge, bitch and whine, but then, they always wish for the best for me.
Why this ranting?
Because a certain specific someone EO (Evil One) kept bugging me about my graduate school plans. Usually I'm pretty open about telling people about my plans, practically everyone who reads this blog knows where I'm going to. But he, EO, has been bugging me about my GRE grades, my graduate school plans etc etc. And I am so hesitant in telling because I know he doesn't wish for me to do well.
A very good benchmark (haha, reminds me of 2.2 million minister salary, but lets not go into that) of how good a friend or partner is how he/she behaves when something good happens to you. He/she should be happy for you when you get your raise/promotion/lottery/new date or anything that is good for you. (If you are dating a total jerk, maybe the hesitation is justified.)
The important people, aka really good friends, wouldn't leave you in some shit hole. Those superficial good-time friends are probably not going to be around when you need help. I haven't really been in any major shit holes, but when I am, there are usually those I can turn to for help. (Thanks in advance!)
Hm, I don't really think my future graduate school plans are shit hole-ish, but I don't like to share the news with EO. I just don't wish to hear insincere congratulations while knowing that he is cursing on the inside. Then he will go off to tell others and bitch about how I manage to do it.
Haha, I would like to think that I'm self-assured enough to not need such reassurance about my abilities. (This seems like a rather lame attempt at self reassurance.)
But all is fine, and I'm now choosing friends with a lot more caution. Unfortunately, it is much harder to make friends this way. =(
The horrid EO incident just left me with a bitter taste and slight irritation, which has evaporated after venting on this blog.
*peace*
In my teenage years, dissatisfaction at relationships mainly arose from parental issues and below-expectations dates.
Now, my trusted friends are limited to those from my secondary school past. These are people who grew up with me and watched me do stupid things. They may judge, bitch and whine, but then, they always wish for the best for me.
Why this ranting?
Because a certain specific someone EO (Evil One) kept bugging me about my graduate school plans. Usually I'm pretty open about telling people about my plans, practically everyone who reads this blog knows where I'm going to. But he, EO, has been bugging me about my GRE grades, my graduate school plans etc etc. And I am so hesitant in telling because I know he doesn't wish for me to do well.
A very good benchmark (haha, reminds me of 2.2 million minister salary, but lets not go into that) of how good a friend or partner is how he/she behaves when something good happens to you. He/she should be happy for you when you get your raise/promotion/lottery/new date or anything that is good for you. (If you are dating a total jerk, maybe the hesitation is justified.)
The important people, aka really good friends, wouldn't leave you in some shit hole. Those superficial good-time friends are probably not going to be around when you need help. I haven't really been in any major shit holes, but when I am, there are usually those I can turn to for help. (Thanks in advance!)
Hm, I don't really think my future graduate school plans are shit hole-ish, but I don't like to share the news with EO. I just don't wish to hear insincere congratulations while knowing that he is cursing on the inside. Then he will go off to tell others and bitch about how I manage to do it.
Haha, I would like to think that I'm self-assured enough to not need such reassurance about my abilities. (This seems like a rather lame attempt at self reassurance.)
But all is fine, and I'm now choosing friends with a lot more caution. Unfortunately, it is much harder to make friends this way. =(
The horrid EO incident just left me with a bitter taste and slight irritation, which has evaporated after venting on this blog.
*peace*
Saturday, March 31, 2007
Things that make me happy
- Fluffy pillows
- Spring air
- Time to do nothing
- A good book
- Knowing that there are people who care
- Fresh flowers
- Squishy soft toys
- Milo
- Steamed fish
- Nice nails
- Good hair day
- Pretty dresses
- 8 hours of sleep
- Good company
- Receiving paper mail (letters, gifts not bills)
- Cold milk tea
- Someone who listens
- Finding good bargains
- Music
- Surprises
- Praline chocolate
- Funny stuff
- Comics
- Ice-cream
- Spring air
- Time to do nothing
- A good book
- Knowing that there are people who care
- Fresh flowers
- Squishy soft toys
- Milo
- Steamed fish
- Nice nails
- Good hair day
- Pretty dresses
- 8 hours of sleep
- Good company
- Receiving paper mail (letters, gifts not bills)
- Cold milk tea
- Someone who listens
- Finding good bargains
- Music
- Surprises
- Praline chocolate
- Funny stuff
- Comics
- Ice-cream
Thursday, March 29, 2007
Faustian Bargain
Faustian bargain [(fow-stee-uhn)]
Faust, in the legend, traded his soul to the devil in exchange for knowledge. To “strike a Faustian bargain” is to be willing to sacrifice anything to satisfy a limitless desire for knowledge or power.
Faust, in the legend, traded his soul to the devil in exchange for knowledge. To “strike a Faustian bargain” is to be willing to sacrifice anything to satisfy a limitless desire for knowledge or power.
American Heritage New Dictionary of Cultural Literacy, Third Edition
.
I'm doing a psychology class on exceptional people (Einstein, Stravinsky, Freud etc etc) and I've learnt that many these successful people have rather terrible interpersonal relationships. So, it seems that if you want to be exceptional, you have to sacrifice something for such ability.
.
I guess it is true. To have good grades in university, you got to sacrifice your social life, sleep, health to squeeze out that 4.0 GPA. I mean, there are definitely some people out there who seem to have it all: not study much and do well, but they still have to put in some effort to get to their current location. To them, the sacrifice might not be that great. Hm, maybe these people enjoy their work, so they do not need to experience other more enjoyable activities. *focus all energy into cramming for exams. Ooo.. I'm so happy*
.
Hm, so to get better grades, better career prospects, I got to sacrifice something for it. It may be my Spongebob cartoons, my msn-ing, my social life, my slacking. This is so icky.
.
If you feel that one part of your life is totally crappy, maybe it is because you spend too much time and effort in some other aspect. *need balanced lifestyle* But after being balanced and well adjusted, maybe you won't be so 'exceptional' after all.
.
Note: You may have a crappy unbalanced life and be rather pathetic (not exceptional).
Tuesday, March 27, 2007
Decisions
I am unproductive. I have not been doing anything useful, practical, academic related, for the past 3 days.
My undergraduate days are coming to a close. I'm worrying about not being able to graduate. I feel so paranoid.
Where I am now is the product of whatever I did. Sometimes I reflect about my life and regret/mull over certain things. It is my choice, my decision, which has led me to my current situation.
OF says God already has your life mapped out. So, He knows what will happen to you. But I guess you should make the best of what you have, and work towards your goals. Hm, things don't simply fall from the sky.
I still feel unproductive. I'm not doing anything, towards anything. I need some form of stimulation. *zaps myself with an electrical prod*
My undergraduate days are coming to a close. I'm worrying about not being able to graduate. I feel so paranoid.
Where I am now is the product of whatever I did. Sometimes I reflect about my life and regret/mull over certain things. It is my choice, my decision, which has led me to my current situation.
OF says God already has your life mapped out. So, He knows what will happen to you. But I guess you should make the best of what you have, and work towards your goals. Hm, things don't simply fall from the sky.
I still feel unproductive. I'm not doing anything, towards anything. I need some form of stimulation. *zaps myself with an electrical prod*
Saturday, March 24, 2007
People watching
Friday: in some 9am class with 30 minutes of sleep
30 min of sleep: writing 10 page essay, 25%, on the night before it is due. Bad idea.
Professor was late, so I people watched. The girl sitting next to me was a classic GF2. I've noticed her in class before (because she is gf2-like), but today she was in closer proximity.
She is dainty and sweet with long rebonded hair that she touches every few seconds. *flick flick* She has nicely painted pink fingernails and smells like bubblegum (really, sugar sweet). Even her nice neat round-ish handwriting is sweet.
All the while, she was talking to this other guy. He is rather plain looking (nice way of saying below average) and kind of flabby (note: I think lots of people are flabby, so he might not really be flabby in usual sense. It's just my view. =P). Then the professor came and when lesson was about to start, he stood up and left the class.
Yikes. He is one of those guys. You know, those men that hang around girls they like, i.e. to jio* the bubblegum sweetie. The girls are usually relatively nice and friendly to such men, but everyone knows it is highly unlikely they will ever consider dating them (the men). (Possibly everyone, except him, knows she doesn't consider him)
Haha, it gives me such an ecky aftertaste watching such a scene. The men are so lame. It's 9am on Friday and he is in class to accompany the girl for 10 minutes before class starts. Ew ew. Somehow I'm disgusted at the rather desperate jioing methods.
I guess people have to try, somehow, to date people a lot better looking than they are. How else would extremely ugly people get married? (hm, maybe they marry other extremely ugly people?)
I'm so mean. I'm so not going to get jioed for the next eternity.
*Jio: (Singlish) chase, woo
30 min of sleep: writing 10 page essay, 25%, on the night before it is due. Bad idea.
Professor was late, so I people watched. The girl sitting next to me was a classic GF2. I've noticed her in class before (because she is gf2-like), but today she was in closer proximity.
She is dainty and sweet with long rebonded hair that she touches every few seconds. *flick flick* She has nicely painted pink fingernails and smells like bubblegum (really, sugar sweet). Even her nice neat round-ish handwriting is sweet.
All the while, she was talking to this other guy. He is rather plain looking (nice way of saying below average) and kind of flabby (note: I think lots of people are flabby, so he might not really be flabby in usual sense. It's just my view. =P). Then the professor came and when lesson was about to start, he stood up and left the class.
Yikes. He is one of those guys. You know, those men that hang around girls they like, i.e. to jio* the bubblegum sweetie. The girls are usually relatively nice and friendly to such men, but everyone knows it is highly unlikely they will ever consider dating them (the men). (Possibly everyone, except him, knows she doesn't consider him)
Haha, it gives me such an ecky aftertaste watching such a scene. The men are so lame. It's 9am on Friday and he is in class to accompany the girl for 10 minutes before class starts. Ew ew. Somehow I'm disgusted at the rather desperate jioing methods.
I guess people have to try, somehow, to date people a lot better looking than they are. How else would extremely ugly people get married? (hm, maybe they marry other extremely ugly people?)
I'm so mean. I'm so not going to get jioed for the next eternity.
*Jio: (Singlish) chase, woo
Thursday, March 22, 2007
Dating 101: When he does too much (without you wanting him to).
I figured I'm not so great at whining, so I shall dish out unsolicited dating/relationship advice instead. Hahaha.
He (includes partners, boyfriends, almost boyfriends, people who like you, etc etc) does too much when:
- He does your Math assignments for you (including visiting your professor to ask questions) when you told him: "leave it, it's fine"
- Neglects sleep, social life, food, schoolwork to keep you company
- Washes your all dishes
- Folds 1000 paper cranes for you, write your name on many tiny macaronis (that sort of thing)
These are just examples... They may or may not have happened to me (or my friends). Don't speculate. Tsk!
After doing all these redundant, yet sweet, things, he will complain or feel wei3 qu1 (wronged).
Why? Because he had invested so much time/effort and you didn't reciprocate/appreciate.
My point of view (and, maybe, other females):
Hello?! I didn't ask you to do so many things... so if you don't want to do it, don't. Else, do it (to make me happy) and don't complain.
I don't know why guys think that we should appreciate the things we didn't ask/want them to do. My analogy: Guys doing too much (without me wanting him to) = force feeding (caviar), when I'm full and fat.
Oh yes, we unappreciative females appreciate your kind thoughts and attempts (keyword: attempts), to please us. You are nice and kind and sweet, but PLEASE don't complain, whine or feel wronged after doing what you chose to do. We didn't put a gun to your head.
(You might have the right to whine, if we forced you into the task.)
So, guys, go ahead and do whatever you want to proclaim your undying love. Just don't sulk and expect that we will always appreciate it (as much as you like us to).
Qualifier: You still got to do the basic stuff that is expected of you. (i.e. send the girl home, celebrate valentine's day/birthday/anniversary, listen to her talk/whine/bitch/cry)
He (includes partners, boyfriends, almost boyfriends, people who like you, etc etc) does too much when:
- He does your Math assignments for you (including visiting your professor to ask questions) when you told him: "leave it, it's fine"
- Neglects sleep, social life, food, schoolwork to keep you company
- Washes your all dishes
- Folds 1000 paper cranes for you, write your name on many tiny macaronis (that sort of thing)
These are just examples... They may or may not have happened to me (or my friends). Don't speculate. Tsk!
After doing all these redundant, yet sweet, things, he will complain or feel wei3 qu1 (wronged).
Why? Because he had invested so much time/effort and you didn't reciprocate/appreciate.
My point of view (and, maybe, other females):
Hello?! I didn't ask you to do so many things... so if you don't want to do it, don't. Else, do it (to make me happy) and don't complain.
I don't know why guys think that we should appreciate the things we didn't ask/want them to do. My analogy: Guys doing too much (without me wanting him to) = force feeding (caviar), when I'm full and fat.
Oh yes, we unappreciative females appreciate your kind thoughts and attempts (keyword: attempts), to please us. You are nice and kind and sweet, but PLEASE don't complain, whine or feel wronged after doing what you chose to do. We didn't put a gun to your head.
(You might have the right to whine, if we forced you into the task.)
So, guys, go ahead and do whatever you want to proclaim your undying love. Just don't sulk and expect that we will always appreciate it (as much as you like us to).
Qualifier: You still got to do the basic stuff that is expected of you. (i.e. send the girl home, celebrate valentine's day/birthday/anniversary, listen to her talk/whine/bitch/cry)
Wednesday, March 21, 2007
Spring cheated on me.
The damn weather. It's cold AGAIN and it's MARCH. Hello, where is my Spring? For those who are not so well informed, when I say cold, I mean below 0 degree celsius cold. Oh, I so miss the 25 deg monsoon cold in Singapore. (Eh, not really.) My ideal outside temperature is between 10 - 15 deg. I feel that some politician needs to build a huge globe around the city and set the thermostat to 15 deg.
Besides that, I'm freezing indoors. This is terrible. Now it is 17 deg (still bearable), but I sometimes wake up to 13 deg INDOOR temperatures. The thermostat at home is CURSED. It only has a turn on/off function. The temperature dials on it -> SCAM!
Here is a continuation about the terrible living conditions that I'm forced to live with.
(Refer to Neurotic for my housemates' heating woes.)
Okay.. So I feel cold and I turn on the heat. )@(#*@)(#@! CHLORINE GAS START COMING OUT OF MY HEAT VENT!!!!!! Poison poison. They used Chlorine to kill people in WW1.
Either the drug-using nuts in the basements are trying to poison me (and the rest of the house) or the landlord or his assistant (V. N.) is trying to save $ by making hot air a form of poison.
When we DIE, you will have no rent to collect. Argh. Sheesh. The Chlorine is probably going to take some time to kill md, so evil landlord could still squeeze rent out of me!
Evil landlord choices:
SAVE $ as stupid renters don't use heat
SPEND $ to slowly kill some pesky renters
He got the best of everything eh?
(I didn't know it is so easy to torment people. The tips I pick up in Toronto. Tsk.)
Yadayada. He might be trying to clean the air vent with Chlorine. But it is below -6 deg outside.
The lives of poor undergraduates are worth nothing. When I get rich and famous and all, I'll get back at all these people. Shoot diamond bullets at them.
But now, I'm stuck without heat.
Besides that, I'm freezing indoors. This is terrible. Now it is 17 deg (still bearable), but I sometimes wake up to 13 deg INDOOR temperatures. The thermostat at home is CURSED. It only has a turn on/off function. The temperature dials on it -> SCAM!
Here is a continuation about the terrible living conditions that I'm forced to live with.
(Refer to Neurotic for my housemates' heating woes.)
Okay.. So I feel cold and I turn on the heat. )@(#*@)(#@! CHLORINE GAS START COMING OUT OF MY HEAT VENT!!!!!! Poison poison. They used Chlorine to kill people in WW1.
Either the drug-using nuts in the basements are trying to poison me (and the rest of the house) or the landlord or his assistant (V. N.) is trying to save $ by making hot air a form of poison.
When we DIE, you will have no rent to collect. Argh. Sheesh. The Chlorine is probably going to take some time to kill md, so evil landlord could still squeeze rent out of me!
Evil landlord choices:
SAVE $ as stupid renters don't use heat
SPEND $ to slowly kill some pesky renters
He got the best of everything eh?
(I didn't know it is so easy to torment people. The tips I pick up in Toronto. Tsk.)
Yadayada. He might be trying to clean the air vent with Chlorine. But it is below -6 deg outside.
The lives of poor undergraduates are worth nothing. When I get rich and famous and all, I'll get back at all these people. Shoot diamond bullets at them.
But now, I'm stuck without heat.
Saturday, March 17, 2007
Anger issues
Am I a really angry person? I don't know. I guess I'm somewhat more in control of my behaviour/temper than in the past. (Blame aging.)
Pissed off at some academic nonsense.
- didn't do great on test. didn't have time to finish.
- some idiot tried to overcharge me for past tests
- mailman didn't come today. Hello? Where's my acceptance/rejection letter?
Hm. I didn't use to be so concern about my grades... Nay, I'm always that way. Why. I need to learn to relax. My 1st year in university was fine, then I somehow morphed into some cao mugger. Sheesh. And if you think (North America) overseas education is easy, think again. Hard like hell. I don't know where I got notions that I will get to slack in uni. Worse, far worse than JC years. Far worse, and less fun. The only people who seem to have a relatively easy time in university are those in Australia.
I cooked some multi coloured bubble tea pearls to cheer myself up.
But then the pearls got stuck to the bottom of the pot. -_-
Pissed off at some academic nonsense.
- didn't do great on test. didn't have time to finish.
- some idiot tried to overcharge me for past tests
- mailman didn't come today. Hello? Where's my acceptance/rejection letter?
Hm. I didn't use to be so concern about my grades... Nay, I'm always that way. Why. I need to learn to relax. My 1st year in university was fine, then I somehow morphed into some cao mugger. Sheesh. And if you think (North America) overseas education is easy, think again. Hard like hell. I don't know where I got notions that I will get to slack in uni. Worse, far worse than JC years. Far worse, and less fun. The only people who seem to have a relatively easy time in university are those in Australia.
I cooked some multi coloured bubble tea pearls to cheer myself up.
But then the pearls got stuck to the bottom of the pot. -_-So much for cheering myself up. (But I did manage to scrap them off the pot, so not ALL is lost. There is still hope in the world.)
Wednesday, March 14, 2007
Spring!
Spring is here. Sort of. The daylight saving nonsense has just ate away another hour of my day. But who cares! Spring is here! Hola!
But I'm stuck in some overly anxious situation. A horrid ECO test on Friday. 2 papers and 1 presentation next week. And yar, graduate school acceptance/rejection letters should be coming my way this week or the next.
ARgh. How horrid to be me. I can't enjoy spring without the burden of assorted things on my mind.
And I've class now so I have no time to complain.
At least one thing is getting better... the weather!! Spring!!!
But I'm stuck in some overly anxious situation. A horrid ECO test on Friday. 2 papers and 1 presentation next week. And yar, graduate school acceptance/rejection letters should be coming my way this week or the next.
ARgh. How horrid to be me. I can't enjoy spring without the burden of assorted things on my mind.
And I've class now so I have no time to complain.
At least one thing is getting better... the weather!! Spring!!!
Sunday, March 11, 2007
Spread the joy!
I was feeling a tat blue and I stumbled upon this: It's Hard to Be Humble by Mac Davis
It doesn't sound great but it makes me happy. =)! (especially if you sing along)
Haha. My narcissistic self.
It doesn't sound great but it makes me happy. =)! (especially if you sing along)
Haha. My narcissistic self.
Friday, March 09, 2007
Types of girlfriends
In a rather pathetic attempt to escape school work, I will blog.
I have only thought about blogging (about this topic) today but the idea have been floating around for a while...
There are 2 distinct kinds of girlfriends one can get.
One of them looks like this:
I have only thought about blogging (about this topic) today but the idea have been floating around for a while...
There are 2 distinct kinds of girlfriends one can get.
One of them looks like this:
GF 1
The other looks like this:
GF 2
Due to my rather ugly msword drawings, I shall elaborate further on the GFs.
.
GF 1 is rather plain looking (normal people you see on the streets or the extras walking around on channel 8 shows). She's the sort of girl you can be really good friends with, but you wouldn't date (or say you wouldn't date). She doesn't have many suitors.
.
GF 2 is usually above average looking or considered good looking. She might not be drop dead gorgeous, but she is possibly the most attractive girl in class, on the MRT train, at your work place. She usually has a couple of suitors and guys want to be her friend.
.
These GFs are sort of modelled after real life couples I've encountered. But relax, I'm sure you are not one of these people. =) =) *peace*
.
Assumption: Everyone has a great personality.
.
BF 1s, boyfriends of GF 1s, are usually rather decently nice to their GFs. But they don't seem to be oh-so-proud of their partners. On facebook/friendster, one hardly sees pictures of GF 1 on BF 1's site. BF 1 usually thinks his gf is nice and he can marry her, yada yada, but that's it. BF 1 doesn't carry pictures of GF 1 in his wallet. He doesn't steal glances at his GF 1 or notice how beautiful she is. He might tell her that she looks good, but he doesn't mean it 100%. He might have a soft spot for better looking girls, he just doesn't tell his gf about it.
.
BF 2s, boyfriends of GF 2s, are usually the opposite of BF 1s. He is the guy who goes on and on about how pretty his gf is even though no one is interested. His friends talk among themselves about how unfair the world is: Why BF 2, of all people, have a pretty gf. He carries her picture in his wallet and likes to "stamp his name on her head" to show that she is attached. (This will fend off other random suitors.) You see her picture on his friendster/facebook. He is frequently afraid that he will lose GF 2 to other guys.
.
Everyone guy wants a GF 2, even though they don't mention it. (Disclaimer: some guys might classify GF1s as GF2s. Beauty is in the eyes of the beholder.) They usually end up with a GF 1 when they figure out they can't get a GF 2, or when they fall in love with someone's personality. (Though evolution normally doesn't work that way -> Attractive people look more healthy, thus, better genes!)
.
But couples normally fall between the spectrum of GF1/BF1 & GF2/BF2. So maybe people are not that superficial after all. Heck. They are. I've heard one too many: I wouldn't date girls more than 50kg. Hai.. Why are people so superficial.. I don't know. I am too.
.
Side note: I just bought some Eyes Lips Face makeup yesterday and they have been SHIPPED! Hurray! I got to be vain vain. Because the world requires me to be. =)
Thursday, March 08, 2007
School Songs
I was thinking of my old school songs yesterday.. and I can't remember them.
To give myself some credit, I didn't forget everything...
Primary School (XPS):
78% recalled
*We the pupils of XPS
In spirit we are one
As brothers help each other
In study and at play
Working towards perfection
In school from day to day
Humility and honesty
Love and respect for all
School and to community
We will answer to your call (back to *)
But I can't remember how it ends...
Secondary School (TKGS):
25% recalled
We can not all be heros and throw a hemisphere?
With some great daring venture, some deed that mocks at fear
But we can fill a life time with kindly acts and truth?
For glory of the country and ......
I think there are 3 stanzas..
Junior College (VJC):
Can't recall the tune... Copied the lyrics from wikipedia
Victoria in Singapore
There are other schools we know
Victoria is something more
The school that watch'd us grow
For here we've learnt and striven too
And played the sportsman's game
Victoria we give to you
The honour that you claim
Victoria thy sons are we
And we will not forget
Victoria thy triumphs see
And victories we share yet
For others came before and went
And carried to the world
Victoria's fame and our intent to
Keep her flag unfurled
Okay.. So why am I writing all these? I hope someone out there will stumble upon my blog and fill in the blanks in the songs for me. Hehe..
If that doesn't work out.. At least I've a partial record of the songs, before they all get wiped off my bad bad memory.
I still can't believe I remember most of my Pri school song.. 6 years of brainwashing singing. Haha.
To give myself some credit, I didn't forget everything...
Primary School (XPS):
78% recalled
*We the pupils of XPS
In spirit we are one
As brothers help each other
In study and at play
Working towards perfection
In school from day to day
Humility and honesty
Love and respect for all
School and to community
We will answer to your call (back to *)
But I can't remember how it ends...
Secondary School (TKGS):
25% recalled
We can not all be heros and throw a hemisphere?
With some great daring venture, some deed that mocks at fear
But we can fill a life time with kindly acts and truth?
For glory of the country and ......
I think there are 3 stanzas..
Junior College (VJC):
Can't recall the tune... Copied the lyrics from wikipedia
Victoria in Singapore
There are other schools we know
Victoria is something more
The school that watch'd us grow
For here we've learnt and striven too
And played the sportsman's game
Victoria we give to you
The honour that you claim
Victoria thy sons are we
And we will not forget
Victoria thy triumphs see
And victories we share yet
For others came before and went
And carried to the world
Victoria's fame and our intent to
Keep her flag unfurled
Okay.. So why am I writing all these? I hope someone out there will stumble upon my blog and fill in the blanks in the songs for me. Hehe..
If that doesn't work out.. At least I've a partial record of the songs, before they all get wiped off my bad bad memory.
I still can't believe I remember most of my Pri school song.. 6 years of brainwashing singing. Haha.
Monday, March 05, 2007
Slacking around
After my rather traumatic 2 essays, 1 midterm week, I've decided to bum around and not do anything this weekend. Up till now, I have yet to accomplish ANY school work. Maybe I should start.
Some random things I do when I'm slacking around:
So there.. this is my rather uneventful weekend.
Some random things I do when I'm slacking around:
1) My housemate's (OH) door. Notice it's dark in the room (no light underneath door). OH and gf are in the room.
2) And here is the sign on the door. Hmmm. =P
3) Just for information: Here is what's hanging from my doorknob.
Oh... I've also got myself this new Sony Ericsson z610i. And I've figured out how to download FREE games onto my phone (go to www.mobile9.com). So I'm playing Tamagotchi V1. Ahh... Games from my not so long ago childhood.
I tried to play the game in fast mode, but it's still REAL slow.. But the it suddenly went really fast and Fluff (tamagotchi's name) started pooing quite a lot and got really sick.
For those of the non-tamagotchi generation: The skull means Fluff is sick, he's not dead.
So there.. this is my rather uneventful weekend.
Saturday, March 03, 2007
Back
Haven't been posting for a while. I wanted to, really. Just that darn blogger wants me to log on with a gmail account. But the un-tech-savy me DOESN'T have a gmail account! Yes, yes, I know I'm like so behind. But I have enough trouble with managing 3 emails accounts. )(@#*(!#).
Okay.. But I finally got myself a gmail account, AFTER HOURS of thinking what name to use. Sheesh. I can't believe it. I spend time worrying about the name of my gmail account when there's world poverty and people dying of AIDS. Anyway, that precisely what I did. (I can't believe that people use nicks like pinkapples, fluffypillows, handsinmypockets(or sth like that)). I must have tried all possible combinations for an oh-so-me email, but didn't manage to settle for anything until today. Today. when I got all bored, tired and sick of school, I set up my email account. All this on a glorious friday evening. What a life.
Some updates on my not-so-cool life.
1) I slept like 1.5 hours last night/morning. Slept at 7am, woke at 8.30am for my 9am test.
Tell me again why did I procrastinate?!
2) I hate school. Have not receive word from any of the graduate schools that I have applied to. Wondering what was going through my mind when I applied for PhD. Today's conversations with a couple of graduate students steered me further away from that path.
3) I need Manolo Blahniks. I've never had them and probably won't be having them any time soon. But still..
4) Going through another one of my stages of I-so-need _______. Currently it's nice eyes. So I'm busy trying to figure out how to reduce eye bags (drink apple cider vinegar?) and lengthen my eyelashes. (I'm off grocery shopping tomorrow for my health/vanity fix.)
Okay.. But I finally got myself a gmail account, AFTER HOURS of thinking what name to use. Sheesh. I can't believe it. I spend time worrying about the name of my gmail account when there's world poverty and people dying of AIDS. Anyway, that precisely what I did. (I can't believe that people use nicks like pinkapples, fluffypillows, handsinmypockets(or sth like that)). I must have tried all possible combinations for an oh-so-me email, but didn't manage to settle for anything until today. Today. when I got all bored, tired and sick of school, I set up my email account. All this on a glorious friday evening. What a life.
Some updates on my not-so-cool life.
1) I slept like 1.5 hours last night/morning. Slept at 7am, woke at 8.30am for my 9am test.
Tell me again why did I procrastinate?!
2) I hate school. Have not receive word from any of the graduate schools that I have applied to. Wondering what was going through my mind when I applied for PhD. Today's conversations with a couple of graduate students steered me further away from that path.
3) I need Manolo Blahniks. I've never had them and probably won't be having them any time soon. But still..
4) Going through another one of my stages of I-so-need _______. Currently it's nice eyes. So I'm busy trying to figure out how to reduce eye bags (drink apple cider vinegar?) and lengthen my eyelashes. (I'm off grocery shopping tomorrow for my health/vanity fix.)
Wednesday, February 07, 2007
15
I have just finished watching Royston Tan's "15".
Very painful film to watch. It reminds me of Singapore, in some really vulgar manner. I know it's a movie, but it seems so sad that these kids have such a crappy life. And I'm still really disturbed by the violence and gore. I'm not really sure whether it's just movie effects or the real thing.
And after some googling, I found that the kids have continued with their sort of lifestyle after making the movie. Argh. Makes me want to go back (to Singapore) and be a social worker. If only I can stop such things like that from happening.
I'll probably feel much less pity if the gangsters are some chain smoking middle aged men. But these boys are young and somehow they feel really familiar to me. I guess I've seen glimpses of them when I'm back in Singapore, but then I too avoid them like plague. To a certain extent, I'm frightened of them. =(
How different their life is compared to mine. I'm spending a hell lot of money on my university education and possibly seeking more education. I never had to deal with that sort of environment. In my sheltered life, I have only a few really brief encounters with this 'forgotten teenager'. (I've no idea what I should call her.)
I remember seeing her around my neighbour. She is around my age but seem to spend her youth at the void decks of my block instead of being at school. I used to come home from school carrying my violin and see her sitting at the void deck, looking aimless. We always smile at each other. A silent acknowledge of each other's presence. (I guess?)
Once, I was out with my mother in the neighbourhood and my mother saw her smiling at me. My mother freaked out, worrying about me knowing such unsavoury characters. I don't know how to describe the feelings I had then. Disgust with my mother for being so elitist? Anxious that my mother will find out I have been smiling/acknowledging/knowing her?
I don't know. It's just so different. We (me and her) grew in the same HDB block yet we our lifestyles are so different.
I spend my days reading obscene amount of psychology literature and writing papers arguing about creativity, depression, analogue samples, etc. Yar, I know. It's good training for the mind. But I'm not sure what other young people (her) do. Would she be working? Would she meet really unsavoury characters? (Purely anecdotal: I heard she and her sisters have been molested by some icky old man around the neighbourhood.)
I seem to have rather privileged life compared to these other youths. I travelled madly, spend money rather madly (compared to them at least) and think nothing of going to New York for shopping. OF buys me T&C and I buy myself fluffy (useless) stuffed bunnies. Argh. Feel the lifestyle disparity.
Very painful film to watch. It reminds me of Singapore, in some really vulgar manner. I know it's a movie, but it seems so sad that these kids have such a crappy life. And I'm still really disturbed by the violence and gore. I'm not really sure whether it's just movie effects or the real thing.
And after some googling, I found that the kids have continued with their sort of lifestyle after making the movie. Argh. Makes me want to go back (to Singapore) and be a social worker. If only I can stop such things like that from happening.
I'll probably feel much less pity if the gangsters are some chain smoking middle aged men. But these boys are young and somehow they feel really familiar to me. I guess I've seen glimpses of them when I'm back in Singapore, but then I too avoid them like plague. To a certain extent, I'm frightened of them. =(
How different their life is compared to mine. I'm spending a hell lot of money on my university education and possibly seeking more education. I never had to deal with that sort of environment. In my sheltered life, I have only a few really brief encounters with this 'forgotten teenager'. (I've no idea what I should call her.)
I remember seeing her around my neighbour. She is around my age but seem to spend her youth at the void decks of my block instead of being at school. I used to come home from school carrying my violin and see her sitting at the void deck, looking aimless. We always smile at each other. A silent acknowledge of each other's presence. (I guess?)
Once, I was out with my mother in the neighbourhood and my mother saw her smiling at me. My mother freaked out, worrying about me knowing such unsavoury characters. I don't know how to describe the feelings I had then. Disgust with my mother for being so elitist? Anxious that my mother will find out I have been smiling/acknowledging/knowing her?
I don't know. It's just so different. We (me and her) grew in the same HDB block yet we our lifestyles are so different.
I spend my days reading obscene amount of psychology literature and writing papers arguing about creativity, depression, analogue samples, etc. Yar, I know. It's good training for the mind. But I'm not sure what other young people (her) do. Would she be working? Would she meet really unsavoury characters? (Purely anecdotal: I heard she and her sisters have been molested by some icky old man around the neighbourhood.)
I seem to have rather privileged life compared to these other youths. I travelled madly, spend money rather madly (compared to them at least) and think nothing of going to New York for shopping. OF buys me T&C and I buy myself fluffy (useless) stuffed bunnies. Argh. Feel the lifestyle disparity.
Wednesday, January 31, 2007
Sleepy
I've been surviving on pretty little sleep these past few days. (Slept at 9am ish today.) Darn school work. If I have to do more, I'll whine, complain and still do my school work.
This is my last semester in school and it is suppose to be slack... Unfortunately, it is not. And I'm driving myself crazy.
A professor I emailed did not email me back. It's moderately irritating to be ignored as I am stuck in a situation that I can't change. Why can't the person just reject (or accept) my request, instead of dao1ing me.
Oh, last Thursday, I was trying to borrow some past tests from this guy in class. HE BLOODY DIDN'T WANT TO LET ME. I swore I almost ripped his neck apart. He gave lame excuses like he got something to do and really needed the tests. Please, I only needed it for 5 minutes and will return to him after the break. Somehow I managed to convince this other girl to lend me the notes, so it wasn't all too bad in the end. BUT SOME OTHER RANDOM GUY FOLLOWED me to copy the notes and expected me to pay for him. Then the copying machine screwed and he couldn't really copy. The girl that lent me the papers were not too pleased as I returned to class without her papers. (The other guy was still trying to copy the papers.)
Anyway, the girl got her papers back some time during the middle of second half of the class. The papers were not well stapled so... she was pretty pissed off by then.
After class I had to apologize and do all that fluffy stuff. Sheesh..
Anyway, I have decided.. with these terrible experiences with )(@#*@)(#* GUYS. I detest those freaking chinese (I think they are) guy. Problematic.
I hate to generalize, but they really pissed me off. Shoo. Don't bother me, bother some one else.
p.s. At least it taught me to appreciate OF a bit more. (He stayed up to help me check essays. Ooo.. Thank you. thank you.)
This is my last semester in school and it is suppose to be slack... Unfortunately, it is not. And I'm driving myself crazy.
A professor I emailed did not email me back. It's moderately irritating to be ignored as I am stuck in a situation that I can't change. Why can't the person just reject (or accept) my request, instead of dao1ing me.
Oh, last Thursday, I was trying to borrow some past tests from this guy in class. HE BLOODY DIDN'T WANT TO LET ME. I swore I almost ripped his neck apart. He gave lame excuses like he got something to do and really needed the tests. Please, I only needed it for 5 minutes and will return to him after the break. Somehow I managed to convince this other girl to lend me the notes, so it wasn't all too bad in the end. BUT SOME OTHER RANDOM GUY FOLLOWED me to copy the notes and expected me to pay for him. Then the copying machine screwed and he couldn't really copy. The girl that lent me the papers were not too pleased as I returned to class without her papers. (The other guy was still trying to copy the papers.)
Anyway, the girl got her papers back some time during the middle of second half of the class. The papers were not well stapled so... she was pretty pissed off by then.
After class I had to apologize and do all that fluffy stuff. Sheesh..
Anyway, I have decided.. with these terrible experiences with )(@#*@)(#* GUYS. I detest those freaking chinese (I think they are) guy. Problematic.
I hate to generalize, but they really pissed me off. Shoo. Don't bother me, bother some one else.
p.s. At least it taught me to appreciate OF a bit more. (He stayed up to help me check essays. Ooo.. Thank you. thank you.)
Wednesday, January 17, 2007
Graduating
I just got my graduation pictures taken. They are BLOODY Expensive. I paid $25 for Proofs. And if I want photos without the horrible words (proofs) on it. I need to pay $50 (black & white) and UP.
Disgusting.
Which means I would attempt to photoshop away the darn words.
@()#*!
Hm. Back to school. Everything is a routine. As usual, I am worrying about my life and possible future. Argh. Nothing ever changes.
I'm such a worry wart. It doesn't help that I worry about things that I can't change.
Just learnt that someone at work took 10 years to complete her degree. I am taking 3 years and it is DRIVING ME NUTS.
Sheesh. Is this the attitude to go to graduate school? But I don't feel ready for work. (would I ever?)
It's crappy being at an age where you are old enough to comprehend things and yet not old enough to make a wise decision about what you want.
It doesn't help that I know that the decision I would make is CRUCIAL for the next couple of years of my life.
Church was going: you should pray that God helps you make the right decision when you meet a fork in life.
Darn it.
And then comes to the point. Is there free will? Do I actually get a choice? Or is it just the perception of choice since everything is preordained.
(Reminds me of the time when my friends told me that your name is in this Big Book that decides whether you go to heaven. Then what choice do I have in life to make? If I suddenly decide to be religious, would my name pop up in the Book? Or is it destined that I would/would not be religious and that my name is already in/not in the Book?)
Yada, yada. Random Rantings.
Disgusting.
Which means I would attempt to photoshop away the darn words.
@()#*!
Hm. Back to school. Everything is a routine. As usual, I am worrying about my life and possible future. Argh. Nothing ever changes.
I'm such a worry wart. It doesn't help that I worry about things that I can't change.
Just learnt that someone at work took 10 years to complete her degree. I am taking 3 years and it is DRIVING ME NUTS.
Sheesh. Is this the attitude to go to graduate school? But I don't feel ready for work. (would I ever?)
It's crappy being at an age where you are old enough to comprehend things and yet not old enough to make a wise decision about what you want.
It doesn't help that I know that the decision I would make is CRUCIAL for the next couple of years of my life.
Church was going: you should pray that God helps you make the right decision when you meet a fork in life.
Darn it.
And then comes to the point. Is there free will? Do I actually get a choice? Or is it just the perception of choice since everything is preordained.
(Reminds me of the time when my friends told me that your name is in this Big Book that decides whether you go to heaven. Then what choice do I have in life to make? If I suddenly decide to be religious, would my name pop up in the Book? Or is it destined that I would/would not be religious and that my name is already in/not in the Book?)
Yada, yada. Random Rantings.
Friday, January 12, 2007
New Year
It's a new year. I've returned from my 3rd Europe (London & Paris) trip not too long ago. Now, it's back to school. Everything is a dull buzz. Just going about life. School, work, schoolwork, sleep. Dull.
All is fine and rather uneventful. Not feeling all too keen to get suck into this seemingly endless undergraduate career. It's almost over. Just 4 more months before I'm out of here. In fact, I'm off to take my grad photo some time next week.
It's been a relatively fast 3 years. A new phrase in life is about to begin. Now as I look back at my JC days, I feel this attachment to my school. But in college, it is just a mindless trudge to complete. While I have gained an education and learnt a lot (mostly academic stuff), I don't have that attachment to the school. Maybe it's the people here. The lack of a decent social circle makes me yearn for a more interesting/colourful life elsewhere. Where should I go next.
Toronto is a nice place. The security of knowing where everything is in this city.
Yet, I should move. This place has failed to give me the intellectual or any other sort of stimulation I need. I'm not growing as a person!
Hm, like what this lecturer of mine said: Take the harder path in life.
Moving elsewhere would be hard... Maybe that's why I should do it.
All is fine and rather uneventful. Not feeling all too keen to get suck into this seemingly endless undergraduate career. It's almost over. Just 4 more months before I'm out of here. In fact, I'm off to take my grad photo some time next week.
It's been a relatively fast 3 years. A new phrase in life is about to begin. Now as I look back at my JC days, I feel this attachment to my school. But in college, it is just a mindless trudge to complete. While I have gained an education and learnt a lot (mostly academic stuff), I don't have that attachment to the school. Maybe it's the people here. The lack of a decent social circle makes me yearn for a more interesting/colourful life elsewhere. Where should I go next.
Toronto is a nice place. The security of knowing where everything is in this city.
Yet, I should move. This place has failed to give me the intellectual or any other sort of stimulation I need. I'm not growing as a person!
Hm, like what this lecturer of mine said: Take the harder path in life.
Moving elsewhere would be hard... Maybe that's why I should do it.
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