20-something and still single

It is crappy to be single in your 20s. Your new friends are all superficial acquaintances who are prone to leaving you in shit holes. Your closer friends are attached and their best friend is their partner. You have lots to say but no one to share it with. You end up doing lots of things alone, as it is no longer possible to drag people to events, shopping, conventions, things that only you care about. You hate Valentine's, Christmas, New Year, March Break etc because you have no one to spend the days with. There is nothing to look forward to on your birthday. Stop lying to yourself that the surprise birthday party thrown together by your casual friends is JUST what you are expecting. You rather spend a quiet evening with someone who really cares about you (or with a group of friends and THAT special someone).

People around you are getting married and you are still mindlessly wandering around the realms of singlehood. You work hard and achieve success in many areas, but there is no one to share the joy. Money is a lot less fun when you have no one to spend it on or to spend it with. You fear becoming that cranky old man/woman who lives alone and dies alone.

You want children, at least some time in the future, but see no potential mate. You are bored and have no one to call. You are on MSN far too often. No one really cares if you look gross and have food stuck between your teeth. You don't know who you can turn to if you need help.

And time passes so slowly.

Don't worry too much, you are just stuck in Erikson's Intimacy vs Isolation stage. (see picture below) I'm not saying it's good to be single and to die alone but have faith that many are stuck in the same position. (If you are the only one in that situation then you ought to feel really shithole-ish. I mean who are you going to pair up with?)


Thus, the need for belonging and love is oh-so-important (see picture below). You need it before you can move on to things like self-esteem and self-actualisation, i.e. things that will make you truly blissful.

So, I'm not denying that it's crappy to be single in your 20s. It's nothing wrong and in fact, really quite common. It's okay to want companionship. Hahaha, why do people feel so bad acknowledging they want company. Everyone agrees that they want success, but few want to come across as someone who wants love. Ah, it's the single and desperate thing. Nothing wrong to be desperate for love, just don't come across as one. Society prefers people who are more indifferent about it. (You probably lower your potential if you look so desperate. People want to date people who have CHOICES, aka, more than 1 person liking you.)