Being Back

My commute is a chore, the air is terrible, my skin hates the weather, some annoying guy rubbed his butt against my lunch box as he squeezed his way out of the bus.  Singapore has many hateful things, but I don't regret moving back.

Perhaps it is because I always knew that my life in New York / North America was not permanent.  It's like watching a movie; great while it lasted but there's the inevitable end.  A permanent movie is no fun.  Sometimes, it's the small mundane things that gives meaning.  OF helping me out with administrative issues since I'm a total klutz at such things. Extended family offering me various things since I'm a total cheapo.  Unsolicited advice from my colleagues because they mean well.

Being back allows me to ease back into a bigger community.  Life is NYC was always rather solitary despite the large number of acquaintances and whatnots.  Social support is too underrated.  People need people more than they imagine.  I like to think I have more friends - I used to have 5? in Toronto and they include OF, Purin, Housemate, Housemate's girlfriend, television (I vaguely remember blogging about this but I found no evidence).

Well, to my new life.  Let's see how things go.

Bird nest at 10:30pm

I was on the phone when my mother said my grandma called and asked me to go over. As it was late, mother told me to visit tomorrow but I was more curious than tired. Thankfully, grandma stayed in the same apartment block and I only had to walk down two flights of stairs to my grandma's place.

When I arrived, I learned that grandma had prepared bird nest for me after feeling bad about not cooking dinner earlier that evening. I reassured her that I found food at home and continued to stuff my face with bird nest. Exchanging dinner for bird nest seems like a good deal.

Yes, the commutes are long and the weather is cranky. Privacy is non existence and my soft toys smell funky. But it's about being in a place where people really care about your welfare and dinner (or a lack of dinner) is a big deal. It's things like this that reminds me why I'm back.

Random doodles from long ago

 

Found these when I was packing up.  Random doodles from my past.

Moving

Okay, I think I'm moving back to Singapore after 10 years in North America.  And my BIGGEST concern in Singapore is transportation.  I spend all my time googling for ways to get from my place to the office but it is IMPOSSIBLE.  Public transport takes more than 1 hour.  Cab rides are 30 min BUT it's hard to get a cab.  Cars are too expensive (150k).

:(

Can the government please fix the darn transportation?  Research has shown that more than 30 minutes spent on commuting REDUCES life utility.

Hmph.  I need a teleport machine.

Cupcakes

Stuff I find at home (NYC home) in the fridge. Noms.

Of Friendship

I finally had a glimpse of what friendship really meant.

The trust, the vulnerability. The gravity of the situation took a while to sink in. I'm very humbled and flattered to be trusted on that level. It's one of the rare times in my life that I felt proud of the decisions that I've made.

Thank you friend. Perhaps you thought it was for you, but it meant a lot to me.

Human Slug

I'm rolling in bed 4 hours after waking because I don't feel like getting up. I'm a human slug.

Should I move back to Singapore?

I have been living in North America for the past 10 years.  Should I move back to Singapore?

People in Singapore are dying to get out.  But I can't imagine myself being based in North America for the long run.

Urgh my life.

Purin's first Chinese New Year parade

We moved to an apartment where we can watch the Chinese New Year parade from our balcony-that's-really-just-a-window.  It's rather shiok to not have to squeeze with the crazy crowd downstairs and can still enjoy the festivities (although watching from my window prevents me from getting any freebies / balloons / random things).

Purin seems rather happy to watch the parade from the apartment!! 

To a huat huat New Year! 

Chinese New Year Musings

I'm now waiting for a friend in a Chinese restaurant on lunar new year's eve. I'm debating whether I should move back to Singapore. My life here seems empty despite the seeming privilege of living in one of the greatest cities in the world (NYC). It all seems so pointless.

Granted, moving back will make me more aware of social comparisons and no one really needs me to be in Singapore (I'm going back for my own sanity). Pragmatic me tells me to stay for the experience and makes me question why I'm giving up something others greatly desire.

My friend finally arrives and now I'm home after dinner and randomly wandering around NYC on Thursday night.  My head is not clear despite the freezing cold air.  Happy CNY to myself.

Purin wears a festive red ribbon

Happy Chinese New Year!  Sirotan is peeking out from the back.  My animals are hilarious.

Another year

I was scanning through my blog posts and came across this.  I wrote it 6 years ago when I was 22 and feeling weary of life.  Now I'm 28 and I am extremely weary of life.  I just defended my darn degree yesterday so I somehow managed to crawl out of that shit hole.  Now it's on to the real world and real responsibilities.

I went for an interview today and the firm was trying to convince me it is a great place.  I tragically disagree.  I can't imagine myself being happy with a undergrad salary with less than inspiring people.  Other crappy things in my life.  I clogged the toilet (but managed to fix it) and the oven guy didn't come after taking weeks to arrange this appointment.

Urgh my life.

Homemade Bandung

I made this with soya milk, sugar, and bandung. OF likes it. I find it repulsive.