As I grew older, I became more skeptical. (My JC math teacher was going: You are so skeptical.) I guess more of my experiences with people are fraught with negativity and laced with intentions.
In my teenage years, dissatisfaction at relationships mainly arose from parental issues and below-expectations dates.
Now, my trusted friends are limited to those from my secondary school past. These are people who grew up with me and watched me do stupid things. They may judge, bitch and whine, but then, they always wish for the best for me.
Why this ranting?
Because a certain specific someone EO (Evil One) kept bugging me about my graduate school plans. Usually I'm pretty open about telling people about my plans, practically everyone who reads this blog knows where I'm going to. But he, EO, has been bugging me about my GRE grades, my graduate school plans etc etc. And I am so hesitant in telling because I know he doesn't wish for me to do well.
A very good benchmark (haha, reminds me of 2.2 million minister salary, but lets not go into that) of how good a friend or partner is how he/she behaves when something good happens to you. He/she should be happy for you when you get your raise/promotion/lottery/new date or anything that is good for you. (If you are dating a total jerk, maybe the hesitation is justified.)
The important people, aka really good friends, wouldn't leave you in some shit hole. Those superficial good-time friends are probably not going to be around when you need help. I haven't really been in any major shit holes, but when I am, there are usually those I can turn to for help. (Thanks in advance!)
Hm, I don't really think my future graduate school plans are shit hole-ish, but I don't like to share the news with EO. I just don't wish to hear insincere congratulations while knowing that he is cursing on the inside. Then he will go off to tell others and bitch about how I manage to do it.
Haha, I would like to think that I'm self-assured enough to not need such reassurance about my abilities. (This seems like a rather lame attempt at self reassurance.)
But all is fine, and I'm now choosing friends with a lot more caution. Unfortunately, it is much harder to make friends this way. =(
The horrid EO incident just left me with a bitter taste and slight irritation, which has evaporated after venting on this blog.
*peace*
No comments:
Post a Comment