Creepy Creeps

I was waiting for a bus to take me home when I saw a totally creepy creep. Initially, I was busy observing this 9 to 11-year-old child who was dressed in somewhat oversized and unfashionable (really mismatched) clothes. The child was wearing pants held up with a far-too-tight belt and a t-shirt tucked all the way into the pants. This together with loafers with the backstay stomped flat. (Side note: I have no idea what the back of the shoe is called until now. Haha, blogging allows me to improve my vocabulary.)

His/her hair was longish, so the child might be a girl. But he/she was hanging out with a bunch of boys, so the child might be a boy. The child is fair with a face that looks both girlish and boyish. In all, I was busy staring, trying to figure out the gender of the child.

And there was this grown man hovering around this bunch of un-adult-supervised children. At first, he chatted with the child's friends but the friends soon left when their bus arrived. Then the man started chatting with this child.

I hate to be such a superficial judgmental person, but I am. I think that man is a creep. It seemed to me that the child was disinterested in having a conversation but the man kept trying to 'chat-up' the child. That man, Creepy Creep (CC), sends out BAD vibes. I'm convinced he is up to no good. I won't go as far as to claim he is a pedophile.. (though he probably is), but he sure seems like a creep.

Claim: Pedophiles like to pick out children who are awkward. So that CC is probably doing just that. The child looks obviously awkward with his/her odd dressing.

I listened/eavesdropped and figured out that CC was asking the child about his/her longish hair. I guess the hair is the first thing that hits you once you see the child. The hair is too long for a boy, though the child was dressed in boy's clothes. (As you can see, I was totally distracted by the androgynism.) CC was just asking about the hair. Argh. I couldn't verify his intentions.

Anyway, my bus came and I willed the child to get up the same bus. Unfortunately, my 'will' power is not strong and the child remained at the bus stop. Being the kiasi* Singaporean, I just boarded my bus and proceeded home. I'm so apathetic. (Haha, I'm a-pathetic.) But then, I really don't know what to do. Ask the creep to buzz off? Continue spying at them at the bus stop? What if CC is the child's friend/relative/teacher?

I'm not proud of my apathy. But then, what am I to do?


kiasi*: Singlish, scared died (direct translation), afraid of death

Books and Purin

I've spent some time reading the His Dark Materials by Philip Pullman. Pretty good books. I'm too distracted to write more at the moment (I'm on the phone). So I'll just post some pictures of Purin.

Here are more pictures of Purin. I'm rather fond of him. He is such good company.

Purin is wearing a shirt stolen from a rabbit.

Purin and friends.

Purin is resting.
Ahhh.. So comfi!

Purin's new footstool

An absentminded friend left her dear dog at my place after a sleepover. Purin, being a curious little dog, decided to use this new toy as a footstool.

Here is Purin and his new footstool!
One leg on the stool.

Now two legs on the stool!

Then Purin got sick of playing with the footstool for it was rather dirty. *Purin frowns*

Purin doesn't like to dirty his legs!

Here is a random picture of Seal (His real name is Sirotan) on my new blue sofa. He is so adorably cute. *pinch*

Attack of the L.S.E.

Argh! I've just been hit by a bout of L.S.E. Life is Horrible!

Everyone in Singapore is a size 0. Everyone is gorgeous without trying. The flawless makeup-less skin! What thin legs!!!

They all have that tiny chin that OF says exemplifies beauties. My chin is so not tapered enough.

Everyone has nice large eyes without eye bags or dark circles. They all have nice long dark lashes! Argh. This is so unfair.

I feel great resentment.

L.S.E never befalls on me so terribly in Toronto. How horrid. How horrid.

Everyone is successful, rich and pretty. I am jobless, bored and poor.

ARgh. L.S.E.

Hello... Is anyone there?

The world moves on, with or without you. It has been a while since I have visited Singapore and quite a bit have changed.

How reassuring it is, that life could go on perfectly well without you. But that is how it is.

The insignificance of one's position and role, even in that tiny section of life you once occupied.

Life filters out the irrelevant, the unimportant and the things you couldn't be bothered with. How easy Life does it!

Of health, beauty and vanity

The warm muddy weather is driving me insane. I have been in Singapore for 1.5 weeks and I am still sleeping and waking at odd hours. I doze off at 11pm and wake at 6am. Maybe it is the jet lag. Sometimes I wake in the middle of the night because the fan is blasting at me. It is darn irritating. I miss my duck feather duvet. My life is rather haphazard and boring. It is surprising that one's life could be so haphazardly put today and yet still so routine.

Some time last week, I bought contact lens after a dull window shopping trip at Kovan Heartland Mall. Here it is.

Additionally (and since I have nothing better to do), I decided to shell out $27.20 (usual retail price: $35) for a mask that is recommended by a friend.

.

Side note: I also bought some Maybelline Angel Fit Foundation for $25.90. Sheesh I just found out today that the shop that sells the $27 mask is selling my foundation for $19.90. ARgh. $6 down the drain. But what-the-heck.

Anyway, the mask is darn good and I'm totally in love with it. It's the best mask I've ever tried. (Hm, I haven't tried that many. But still...) It digs out all the ecky blackheads, whiteheads and maybe some facial hair *haha*. It's my new favourite thing. And yar, I just bought another bottle of it. Why? I don't know. I just like it. I like to stock up on random things like this. Oh, that reminds me, my Maybelline thing is also darn good. Yeah yeah. It's only available in Asia so I'm going to buy tons of it and cart them to NYC. I am a total kiasu garang guni. Hehe.

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Here is my Seikisho Mask White. $27 for 75ml of good stuff!Oh, I also went for acupuncture. The things I do for the sake of vanity. I hope the poking needles will improve my dark circles. I look like a total monster with my dark circles (see above picture). *sobs* My brother also has them. Horrid horrid genes. Hope my acupuncture will get rid of my eye bags too!

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Here is a picture I took just after the needle is plucked out of my hand. I had 6 needles poked in me. 4 on my face and 2 on my hands. The tiny hole is still present on my hand. Haha. It's so scary (needles in your face?!!). But I'm still going back. I have too much free time. -_-.

On a more solemn mood, a friend just found out that her mom has breast cancer. Her love-hate relationship with her mom is probably going to get much more complicated.

Hm, lots of people have love-hate parent-child relationships. Lots of irrational and rational resentment in life. Sheesh.

Well, I hope everything turns out well. Once the health part is dealt with, then one can worry about the more fun and frivolous parts of life... like Maybelline Foundation and eye bags. Hm, come to think of it, I should probably go for a full body check up, consider all the aches and pains and funny problems that seem to plague me. But like the-above-mentioned friend, I'm far too lazy and afraid of finding out about things I don't want to know. Oh, I so hate bad news.

OF says I'm like an old woman. Haha. For this once, he is right.

New Friend

I've got myself (and Purin) a new friend! Yet another fluffy thing to amuse myself with!!

He's currently nameless. Some times he is called Whale. Hehe. Big fluffy whale.




I'm debating getting this. It's a tissue holder. Cute eh? Awww...

The life of a bummer

Okay I'm back in Singapore. I'm not working. I'm officially bumming my days away.

It's a tough life being a bum. The days pass oh-so-slowly. I don't know why I don't feel this bored in Canada. I think it's the weather.

It's too hot to do anything. I just bum around. It's too hot to even sleep my days away.

And things are obscenely overpriced. I've been away for 2 years and suddenly everything is a-hell-lot more expensive.

I'm cheapskate, poor and unemployed. The living standard is far too high. My Ken-Ken cuttlefish is now 40 cents instead of 30 cents. *argh*
This place is impossibly expensive. And my bumming lifestyle has allowed me far too much time to wander about shopping malls. But I'm too POOR to buy anything.

But I bought this. The green waffle thing with chocolate. It's $1.30. I'm trying to recall whether there is a price increase.
I've learnt that you got to be really loaded to live the tai-tai lifestyle. Else you just live like a bum (aka me). I think working keeps you occupied (and dissatisfied). Too little time or energy to shop.

There are many new malls in Singapore. I've too little humour to go about exploring them. Too bored. Too little patience to entertain/meet up with those I'm not too familiar with.

Lazy. The hot and humid summer days go by oh-so-slowly. I have time to sit on a bus and listen to the aimless chatter of students returning home after classes. I have time to do things rather slowly (or rather, do things at my own pace, without time constrain).

Maybe I've been away for far too long. The cars seem to be on the wrong side of the road. I've stuffed people Canadian money by accident. I constantly feel like I'm in the middle of a Jack Neo movie. It's unnerving.

14 hours

I'm going to be leaving Toronto in 14 hours. In 3 years, I've grown rather fond of Toronto. Hm, I'm not sure about overseas students elsewhere, but one does get attached to a foreign city. I don't look forward (that much) to going back to Singapore even though it is considered home.

Every time I travel, I'm glad to get back to Toronto and the comforts this city provides. It's like the NDP video of 'Home' except that I feel comforted by the Maple Leaf flag (inside of Singapore Changi Airport).

I don't know. I don't know many people or have many close friends here in Toronto. But I'm genuinely fond of this place. I think it is the feeling Toronto provides. The city, as a whole, is welcoming. Most assume I'm Canadian even though I speak with a Singlish accent. People here are nice. I pay high taxes but I'm okay with it. (Oh gosh, I must have been brainwashed by the government!)

I've also taken to singing the Canadian national anthem. (Maybe I feel more strongly about it because the song is in English, I have no idea what Majulah Singapura means.)

How odd one can fall for a country. I have Canadian luggage tags on my luggage (Have you seen anyone with Singaporean tags??). My purin wears a Canadian sweater.

I'm upset that I'm leaving Toronto before Canada Day (1st July).

Canada is doing a darn good job at PR-ing. I don't see foreign students in Singapore being so fond of the country. Of course, I'm still some what patriotic (towards Singapore). After all, I've spent a great deal of time there. The things are familiar and the food is good.

But still, there's something in the Canadian air. I hope I'll be back one day. *fingers cross* May my pending residency go through.

Lots of stuff

I'm such a karang guni. I hate throwing out stuff. I'm moving and I have tons of stuff. Lots of things I'll never ever use/wear. But I won't throw them away. Sheesh.

I'm surprised I don't have much stuff to bring back to Singapore. Most of my stuff is bound for NYC.

At the rate I'm going, I'm going to be a jobless bum in Singapore. Sheesh. Maybe I should be more proactive and look for a job. But I just want a 2day/week job. I want the rest of the time to slack and shop when other unfortunate souls are out working.

Oh, and I want to eat horfun. *hungry*

Someone just told me OF is a nice guy. Haha. I find that funny. No one says I'm nice. *sulks*

This post is getting too random. Argh.

Sleepy

Hm, my visiting friend from Singapore just left. The house is slowly losing its occupants. I'm leaving soon too. Everyone is leaving Toronto.

Ah. I'm tired. And hungry.

It's a mad month. Convocation, travelling and assorted nonsense. Crazy. Really.

Lots of stuff is unfinished. My to-do list is yet to be completed.

I'm tired but I don't want to go back (to Singapore).

I want time to come to a standstill. I want days to pass more slowly. I want a chance to breathe.

The body is failing me

I've just returned from NYC. Feeling terrible. The horrid pollution, dirt, smoke and what-nots are KILLING MY BODY. Anyway, I'm confined to my home, filling myself with weird remedies and pills provided with my 'experienced' housemates. (Drink coconut juice, eat some funny thai powder in water..)

Nothing is working. The toilet is my best friend.

I got to buy myself like a humongous air purifier of some sort when I move to NYC. Maybe a humidifier too.

My tummy hurts. Horrid horrid.

At least I'm back in Toronto where the air is fresher and my bed is fluffier (and cleaner).

Overcompensation

I went to work today and that cell-phone signal measuring guy was still there. Does he have a life?

Then I got sick of doing my plankton-y work and went to have lunch with OF. I had some pretty decent Italian food. Yeah, found new place to eat.. and it is so close to my new apartment. Hola hola.

Okay, OF and I were blabbering nonsense as usually and I had yet another brilliant insight.

Insight: Short people (males) overcompensate by building up lots of muscle.

Hahaha. Yar, there are those tall muscular guys around.. but there seem to be lots of short bulky men. Hm, or maybe they look short because of all the excess muscle.

This is especially obvious if you look at the calves of short people. They are usually bigger than normal. I speculate that their muscles got squished into one big fat ball because their leg bones are not long enough.

I'm trying to find some pictures to demonstrate my point. ARgh. Will post them when I get them.

Oh. My Singapore friend is dropping by Toronto for a visit. Hola. The place is getting crowded.

And I thought my life was painful.

Okay, I just failed my driving test (again). I’m getting used to it. I have self-diagnosed myself with a very mild case of the disorder of the written expression + bad sensory-motor coordination. Ah.. the beauty of taking too many abnormal psychology courses: I keep finding out about problems with myself.

A friend just went: At least you are good at everything else (He’s probably implying something to do with academia). I rather be bad at driving and good at everything else.

But that is also so not true. =(
I want to be good at everything. (I’m not implying my grades are great, because they aren’t! *double =( =( * )

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******

At work, I saw this guy standing outside my office with some machine. My curiosity (kaypoh-ness*) got the better of me and I approached him to ask him what he is doing. Apparently, he’s measuring cell-phone signals. (Yes, I’m like -_-?!?!?!). He has to move a few feet and measure the signals in the different locations. It’s rather sad, I saw him measuring the floor with a measuring tape to get the exact location. So he stands in a location for 1 minute to measure signals and moves 2 steps to measure again. He’s been out there the ENTIRE afternoon doing this (seemingly retarded) thing. All for the sake of research… This I can’t get.

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How ironic, you probably need a PhD (smart people) to do such funny (stupid) research.

******

There are sad people doing sad things for their work. I hope I don’t end up like the cell-phone signal measuring guy. Please please please. Keep my fingers cross. Okay, I fail my %#$&*#% driving test (Driving is making me VERY POOR, please donate funds to me.), but at least I’m not measuring cell-phone signals. Haha, maybe he likes his job. Who knows… but that is SO NOT my thing.

*kaypoh: Singlish, busybody-ness

In great pain

I'm in too much pain and agony to blog. My back aches. I can't bend. I feel like I'm 70.

I went on some horse trail riding on Monday and now I'm sore all over. I'm cranky and in pain. Argh.

But it's still fun. Haha. My horsey is so naughty. He stops and eats when he is not supposed to. And then he pees. His pee-hole is HUGE. It's like yellow water coming out from a tap. And his poo... Lots of poo. At least I didn't step on any horse poo. I'm on a horse. So the horses just stepped on each other's poo. Ew.

We are the Planktons

I'm always having this conversation with OF about our plankton-y status.

If you watched Shark Tale, you might also remember the chart with Oscar, the tongue scrubber fish, at the lowest of the fish hierarchy.

Side note: Someone mentioned that I reminded him of Lenny, that vegetarian shark. I don't know why I keep reminding people of animals. -_- The animals I'm associated with are usually cute and fluffy.. But still... -_-.

Anyway, I feel very plankton-y and very tongue scrubber-y.

I guess it's the terrible age I'm in. I'm neither here nor there. Too inexperienced to be someone, too old to be no one/or to sponge off my parents guiltlessly. Even tiny tots (with rich parents) have a higher status then me. (Reminds me of the time when I was at my prof's place and he kindly reminded us that we are lowly beings without any status or connections. His tiny tots were, fortunately, in a much better situation than us.)

*French accent* This is a terrible age.

Yes, I like to remind myself that there are poor starving children in Africa who have nothing. I should be thankful and all. But I still want to complain and whine about my lack of stuff.

Anyway, a class speaker (some loaded self-made guy), told us that something must motivate you to work hard. It might be fear, greed, desperation, etc.

I think I have all three of these evil evil things.

Okay, I'm so filled with nasty wants... But that doesn't mean I'm going to be a success. *Boohoo* Haha, I might just end up unsuccessful and consumed by nastiness.

(Why am I so amused by my possible horrid life? It's hard to be a success if you don't have some terrible nonsense chewing at your ankles about all the possible failures!! I am so discontented, yet happy. I'm so ironical. )

Anyway, I've always believe life will be good to me. And I've yet to be proven wrong.

Free Candy Inside

What I saw on my way home from work. I didn't take the picture, but the building/structure behind this door is that of some energy pipe.

The sort of thing that just made me smile.

Random nonsense

I have been clogging the toilet daily. I hate low pressure flush.

I'm rather bored with nothing to do. So here are some random pictures.

I cycle with gloves (mittens) even in spring. I just don't like the feel of the bike handle. Haha. It looks so so funny. Stick arm, fat hand.
I went for some seafood.. And here is what I ordered. There's a lobster under the snow crab.

And here are disgusting barnacles on my crab. Ew ew ew.

I usually like seafood.. But the seafood is FAR too salty for my liking. It covers all the taste of the seafood. Ang moh style cooking. Hmph!

I like my rather plain steamed seafood. Prawns in wine.. Yummy.

Clogged toilets, bad jokes and horrid driving

Okay, I've just clogged the house's only toilet. Horrid horrid toilet. Super low quality toilet with a weak flush. All wonderfully provided by the cheapskate landlord. I've clogged the toilet more times in the 2 years I've stayed here than in 21 years of my clog-free life.

I've plunger-ed that darn clog and made things worse. Now the mess of toilet paper have moved to the tinier mid section of the toilet pipes and blocked the water flow. I can't even put the plunger down for fear that the yucky toilet water will overflow. Ew.. Now I just have to wait for that darn thing to slowly drain.

Oh, everyone in the house has been clogging up the toilet since we switched toilet paper. Better quality toilet paper clogs the toilet more. Sheesh.

Someone needs to invent anti-clogging, auto-disintegrating toilet paper.

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I was in this conversation with a bunch of neighbours some days back when one girl mentioned that one could identify mystery man by his penis.

Side note: We were talking about some secretive group in school who went about in masks and chains (they chained themselves together). Then, I asked how he peed. So someone suggested identifying him by his penis e.g. "I know that mole..."

Anyway, the point is the penis thing was really funny to the girls but the guys were like -_-. I guess men just don't like having their weenie (or any other weenie) being laughed at.

I find this so funny. Haha, but the guys reading this probably don't think so.

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I'm one of the rare few who doesn't enjoy driving. I find it more of a chore. Granted, it's because I'm a terrible driver.. But I decided it's just not enjoyable at all. I enjoy the transportation freedom of having a car but I do hate driving. Oh gosh, I so so want a driver. Eh, but I don't have a car for the driver to drive... Hm...

*********

Random question: How do ancient people cut their nails.. I'm pretty sure there are no nail clippers around. Do they just chew their nails off? Or do they scratch their nails against rocks of some sort (just like a kitty cat)?

Lala... I have free time

My exams are over and I'm not doing much. But time seems to pass quickly. I don't know why. How horrid that time crawls to a standstill when examinations loom but darts off in a blink when you are having fun. Eh. But I'm not having fun. It's more of a having-time-to-myself thing.
During school terms, I'm usually flooded with deadlines, mid-terms and what-not. Now, there are things to do, but I have taken a more laidback approach. I guess it's cos there's nothing much I can do to that will crucially influence my life.

I'm glad I have the time to read. It's really hard to pry time away during school to read for leisure. Thank goodness huge, horrid volumes of textbooks have not squished my love for reading. I have a thing for classics. I'm currently reading Emma by Jane Austen. It's that sort of literature text hated by many. I have odd tastes in reading material.

Anyway, the extra time is good for reprioritizing, rethinking, re-orienting stuff in my life. Haha, school term forces my brain to focus on academia. Oh how I hate it. If only I have more time to think.

Alas, it would be back-to-school for me in 4 months. I hope the new environment would provide the sort of stimulation I need. This darn place is far too dull. I feel stifled and un-stimulated. I guess I didn't force myself to explore and push myself to find the sort of stimulation I need. I'm all coddled up here in my tiny little world with all its usual routines.

My prof was going (haha, I like to quote my profs) that one needs to put oneself in the most difficult situations. This way, one can improve. It's true. I'm such a masochistic; I like life to be a little tough on me. Haha. Anything too easy and comfortable becomes a boring routine. But then, I detest changes, stresses and other horrid things that come with challenges. I so need to find a balance. Need just the right amount of challenge and the right amount of stimulation.

No more school

Yeah, like many of my peers, I'm finally done with undergraduate education. Haha, I have might screw up a paper or two this last year.. But what the heck, it's OVER!

Life is so great without the horrors of cramming for exams. I wake up and have a chance to do the things I like. I can take time to breathe and go for walks (Spring is here! Finally!).

Okay, I've a list of things to do and lots of stuff to buy.

I'm wishing my hair is long. Grow grow.

I like pretty girls. <- I was looking at some girl during my last paper. Hehe. Girls are so much more attractive than men.

Side note: Still not les. *sighs*

Life is nice and fluffy. I like good weather. I like free time. Fluffy fluffy life.

Another new insight: Labels

A million thoughts (or more) go through my mind every day and I frequently get insights into things that matter to me. *Duh!*

It's during the wee hours of the morning when I'm suppose to be studying that I receive yet another brilliant insight. Okay, it's not really all that brilliant, but it helps sort my thoughts out.

Insight: Labels are very damaging.
Labels as in labelling someone as ________ (something).
e.g. You are so depressing. You are stupid. You are lazy. You are a horse/pig/dinosaur.

I mean, if you say someone is bright/creative/good looking, then that is fine. *Side note: I welcome all flattering compliments to come pouring in.*

I am just reading up my abnormal child psychology and this recurring theme against labelling keeps appearing. e.g. You shouldn't label someone ADHD. A person is more than just someone with ADHD.

I guess if my years in undergraduate psychology taught me anything, it's a sort of sensitivity towards myself (Gardner's intrapersonal intelligence). Haha, but then, I was always so ultra sensitive (towards myself at least =P).

Okay, back to my labelling issue. Labelling is bad because you create this perception of someone who might not really be that someone.

Therefore, EVERYONE HATES BEING LABELLED. Some call it character assassination. Call you what you want, but it means the same. It's naming someone something of your choice. It's like the naming your neighbour's baby. *no one is asking for your input*

Demo: Label someone materialistic
Then, you automatically bring up other things associated with materialism (love of money, immoral, lack spirituality, corrupt, etc) and attribute them to the same person. But a label is just a label, and it is only meant to describe one aspect of a person's life. Hello, we are all multifaceted creatures here.

I've received my fair share of labels throughout my 21 years on earth and have given (imposed upon others) labels that they may or may not deserved.

I guess labels make it easy for people to classify their lives into little segments that they can organize in their brains. But such organizational ease might not, and is possibly not, the appropriate definition.

Probably everyone, including me, will still go about their lives putting tiny labelling stickers on people's forehead. *ahh, the beauty of tiny post-its* But then, it's a fair (and nice) thing to keep in mind that you are not doing justice to another person's character.

Paved with good intentions

I'm supposed to be studying. But, you can see that I'm not.

Anyway, my random surfing allows me to stumble across this article by Colin Goh and his wife (Yen Yen). Hit me rather strongly. Haha, might have to do with the fact that I'm going to attend the same school. Oh, and my experience as a relief teacher in a rather good secondary school.. that's pretty familiar too.

Yar, I know I'm probably one of the last few people to read this article. I think it's quite well known. I'm lagging. It's probably a good time for me to read it, as compared to say, 7 years ago, when it was first written. Oh gosh, I was only in secondary 2 then! Sheesh. So young.

So if you are also like me (lagging or based overseas), here is the link: http://www.colinandyenyen.com/wordpress/paved-with-good-intentions/

Why I want to be rich

With far too much time on my hands (not really, I'm suppose to be studying for my exams), I've figured out another one of life's pressing questions: Why I want to be rich.

I have heard lots from other less financially motivated beings about the fact that money can't make you happy. I agree life is probably very crappy if you have lots of moola but everyone hates you and you are sick and dying and ugly.

But I'm assuming not everyone hates me and I'm not sick/dying/ugly (yet) so I shall pursue wealth!

Here is my rational:
1. Money solves lots of problems.
- Makes sure there's enough food for everyone
- Everyone is comfortable
- Provides health care
- Pays for leisure/basic needs/luxury

2. I like to buy stuff
- I'm going to get myself a Galapagos tortoise if I can afford it.

'We talked once to someone who met a Galapagos tortoise at a party in a flat in San Francisco. If I recall correctly, the "owner" had brought the tortoise back fro the Galapagos on a ship for which he was a cabin boy, in the 20's or 30's. The tortoise wore heavy socks on its feet (to avoid scratching the hardwood floors) and had learned how to operate the faucets in the shower so it could enjoy a rain shower... Unfortunately, it never learned to appreciate the reason to turn OFF the shower after use, and following a bath it could be seen slopping around the flat in soggy socks...'

- http://www.cfcl.com/vlb/weblog/archives/000106.html

You heartless animal haters out there HAVE to admit that it is darn cute. I so want a tortoise.

Yea the galapagos. My local petshop said they can get them for about 3 grand if I want lol.

- http://www.constrictors.com/forums/showthread.php?p=121901

So I need like 3K to buy a tortoise and probably lots of money left over to buy a house with a yard for it, pay for its food and socks.

Haha, so cute. I'm still fantasizing about cute tortoise with socks. *drools*

Oh yar, and I want lots of other things like yachts, shoes, clothes etc. All these require money.

3. Legacy
- I've decided to do the leave-a-legacy thing (Learnt this from OF)-> Hence, I have to earn lots of $ so I can donate it all to some cause that I support (Save the Tortoises?).
- Why the need for a legacy? I guess since I'm going to die some day, I want to leave some mark on the world.

There, money is nice and fluffy and allows me to own a tortoise. Oh, I can also pay someone to clean up tortoise poo. How nice is that. Hehe.

My environmentalist streak

http://www.greatturtlerace.com/

Despite all my apathy towards the world, I believe we ought to help animals.

I like tortoise/turtles. And this website is great. It's super cute.

Oh, and I miss my tortoise. Yar, I know he is a turtle but I just like to call him tortoise.

Isn't he cute?

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Note: I know most people disagree with my tortoise's cuteness. But still.. He is so adorable.

Falling shoe

My shoe fell off when I'm cycling. Haha, it's quite funny.

Anyway I was messing around with my gears when I found out that I couldn't cycle. The pedals were not 'gripping' the gears.

As I was attempting to figure that out, my shoe fell off.

Thankfully, the road was tiny and rather empty so I kind of cycle-walk my way back to my shoe. Haha, was so glad no cars ran over my shoe.

Some random stranger asked me whether I need help. I guess I was looking quite pathetic.

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It's quite funny to me.. Sounds dangerous eh? Cycling with shoes that could fall off. Darn my Birkis.

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Wearing bicycle safe shoes require socks. And I hate socks. =P

Middle class pains

Hm, I'm unproductive again. My exams are in like a week and I'm slacking around. I guess it's because I already have a passing grade on one of the finals.

I'm rather bored. Everyone around me is studying.

Yesterday I watched MM LKY's video on Straits Times and conveyed his message to OF.

'I do not believe 50 per cent of Singaporeans can emigrate. So as a government, and personally for me and my colleagues, my responsibility is to look after those who cannot migrate.' - MM

OF was, as usual, highly skeptical of politicians.

But I came to this general conclusion that Singapore is a rather good place for the rich or the poor. For the middle class, it's not that nice.

The middle class is too poor to buy a nice house, car and other assorted stuff. These are things the typical middle class family can afford in Canada, Australia etc. That's why they migrate, eh?

The poor: You want to be poor in Indonesia, Africa etc? Just think of those poor starving kids picking out scrap at rubbish dumps. Enough said.

The rich: Low tax, safe environment, clean. Enough moola to buy the nice houses and big cars. Low cost labour allows them to afford maids/chauffeurs, services that are VERY EXPENSIVE elsewhere.

Unfortunately, I'm typical poor middle class. I guess I can only go back when I'm rich. *sobs*

Humph-ho

Hmph! I’m sick of guys.
I was having an MSN conversation with a male friend of mine who is based in Singapore. All was normal and our conversation ventured into local versus overseas education. I mentioned that I was glad to be overseas etc. Then he shot back, that I have only gained a boyfriend, who must be rich.

-_-. Pissed off la.

It is likely, or speculated, that he was moderately fond of me back in during the days of JC. But still… must people be so upset that I’m not dating them. Sheesh.

Oh, after a few observations on my friends and their ex-es (ex-girlfriend, ex-boyfriends), I have come to yet another insightful conclusion.
1. Males don’t want to be close to their ex-es. Especially if they are dumped because their girlfriends got jio-ed away by other people.
2. Females are okay about keeping in contact with their ex-es.

Haha, I’ve verified this by asking OF whether he still wants to ‘friend’ me after we break up. He gave me a -_- (duh!) look and said something along the lines of not-if-another-guy-comes-into-the-picture.

Guys are so predictable. Hmph!

Good company

I have too much time on my hands after handing in my last assignment. Haha, hence, I have time to think about frivolous nonsense like why is my future bed frame going to be brown. I HATE brown. I have always wanted the white bed frame, pink bed sheets thing. Now my wonderful plans are ALL ruined. *sobs*

Anyway, I'm still going ahead with the pink sheets.. Maybe I'll get yellow. Brown and yellow, it's like Purin. Then when I place Purin on my bed, he will blend in with the sheets.

Purin is that yellow dog in the upper right corner of the picture.

OF bought me this cute dollhouse. Super adorable. Kekeke. But no stairs or doors. The tiny critters have to jump around to get into the different rooms.

Okay, I've figured out why I don't hang out so much with friends after dating. Yeah, great insight!

It's because your date is better company. I'm not sure about your dates, but my date usually pays for my stuff, sends me home, listens to me yak, gets drag around, looks at MY stuff, etc.

So when I go out with OF, I generally have a good time because things go MY way. I'm such a control freak. OF also makes sure I have mushrooms in my miso soup, else he will give me his. Haha. There! Beat that.

Compared this to my other friends: No free food, no extra food, no one to send me home.
Haha, my old friends are probably decent company, but new friends, I got to make forced conversations, pay for expensive food that I'm NOT interested in eating.

I guess the main problem is that I'm a total cheapskate. I'm just not willing to pay for expensive food with company that I don't really enjoy. And I can't behave like a cheapskate even though I am one! AND I HATE IT WHEN PEOPLE SPLIT THE COST OF ALL THE FOOD ON A TABLE BECAUSE I USUALLY ORDER THE CHEAP STUFF (and I eat less than others). If I'm willing to pay for cab rides, maybe going home by MYSELF wouldn't be all that terrible. All these prevent me from converting new friends into closer friends.

So poverty is oh-so-bad for making friends. And having a good date as comparison... Ah, things just get so skewed.

Lip balm and Tiger Balm

Today I submitted my last undergraduate essay. I'm pretty proud of my work. It's around 5000 words long.

After that, I went off to return library books and then to buy lip balm.
Here it is. Some beeswax thing. (I have no idea what beeswax is.) Anyway, it felt authentic and kind of reminded me of Tiger Balm.

Here is a picture of what Tiger Balm ointment looks like (in case you have no idea).

When I buy Tiger Balm, I've to get it in this tiny round metal container that is ridiculously hard open (vs the glass jar). Feels more nostalgic and cute! Oh yar, did I also mention that Tiger Balm in tiny metal container is also practically impossible to be located in shops. Haha, people are so into practicality. Hmph! (I'm hmph-ing at those people in distaste, in case you didn't get what's the hmph for.)

Anyway, I bought the Beeswax lip balm that reminded me of Tiger Balm. It's pretty expensive compared to other brands. Gosh there was some shiny lip balm on discount from Blistex and I retarded-ly paid $4.99 for this non-shiny Beeswax thing. I thought it's 'better' since it's in a container instead of those rolling tubes. And I thought the volume was larger.

Okay, all is fine and well. It even smells pretty nice. (I asked OF to sniff it, but he got to do it at a distance. His nose hairs might fall into the lip balm. Hehehe.)

I've just tried to use it and it's almost impossible to dig the balm out of the container. The texture is SO hard. After a few rather feeble attempts using my blunt fingers, I stuck my lips into the lip balm container. (Such an ugly picture, don't imagine!) ARgH.

Now I've some balm on my lips and it feels kind of funny. Peppermint flavoured. Felt like toothpaste on my lips. Sheesh. I don't like it. I don't know. Maybe there are people out there who like the feeling of Mentos on their lips. I rather peppermint flavoured stuff be in my mouth. Yes, I read the peppermint label when I bought it. And the peppermint probably made it smell nice. But there's the minty feeling on my lips.

It's like putting Tiger Balm on your lips. Sheesh, looks like Tiger Balm, feels like Tiger Balm. Maybe I could use the beeswax thing on my bruises and sores.

Note: Now, it doesn't feel so toothpasthy. It's kind of sticky now. Ew. It's like Tiger Balm, loses its 'sting' after a while.

Hm, religion?

Yesterday, OF dragged me out of bed and off to church. It's one of the first few times we have gone to church in year 2007. OF rationalized: The lack of attendance was due to his high school workload.

Anyway, as usual, I'm slouching on the pew bench because the pastor is not terribly exciting. OF said I need to sit up straight because that would be a sign of respect. I still don't comprehend why good posture = respect. *-_-??*

Back home, I thought about assorted stuff. I haven't decided on a religion yet. I think religion is a rather good thing, provided you don't go around proclaiming jihad to others. I mean, those horrid prisoners who took up religion and became good. How bad is that?

Okay. I was asking OF why don't we ask those yin-yang yan3* people to ask the ghosts what religion to believe. OF was going: Those might be some bad spirits, might not be true.. etc.

But there are also lots of funny people back in the past who might have had schizophrenia. Then, they could have gone about proclaiming to be God. If they were charismatic and not too nutty, enough people could have believed them. *horrors* It's a sort of modern day cult.

So how do you know that the "accepted" religions like Christianity, Islam etc are not created by some schizophrenic guy running amok?

Anyway, I don't know. I don't even know whether the yin-yang people really see what they see. OF says they are delusional. But I still want to know. What do yin-yang yan3 people believe in? Do they have a religion? Or do they only know that there exists ghosts wandering around but they have no idea where rest of the un-ghost are.

Disclaimer: This is just a random bunch of questions. Don't get oh-so-worked up.


* yin-yang yan3: Having the ability to see dead people/ghosts

Cookies!!!

I was bored and hungry last night at around 2:30 am. So I baked cookies. Here is the recipe for Nutella Kisses! My cookies look cute and round eh! Anyway, I took much longer than expected and went to bed around 4:30 am instead of the expected 3 ish.

Oh yar, I also burned the bottom of some (quite a lot actually) cookies. Darn it. Cos I was baking using this new tray which is apparently too 'good'. Conducts heat too well. Top of cookie is not well cooked, bottom is cao ta*.

So cute eh?!

The flatter ones are better and not cao ta at the bottom.

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Now prepare for the totally frivolous.

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This is Purin and he has a new hat!

Haha! Magical eh?

I should name the cookies: Purin's Beret.

Lala, my purin is so CUTE. *squeeze purin*

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* cao ta: Singlish, burnt.

Almost at the end

1 more week of school and I'm done with undergraduate education. Then I have a 2 week study break, then 2 exams, then FREEDOM!

Freedom to slack? Haha, provided I don't fail anything and have to redo my courses. *horrors*

Hm, anyway, I'm going to leave Toronto soon. I seem to have a tendency to leave a whirlwind of destruction and emotional wreck where ever I go. Oh gosh, maybe I'm one of those people who feed off such stimulation.

Okay, maybe it is NOT all so bad. More of lingering negativity rather than utter devastation. But I'm starting to see a familiar cycle repeat itself.

Note: My prof says: If something happens to you once, maybe it's them. Twice, maybe it's bad luck. Thrice, it's you.

Enter new place. Make friends. Someone likes me. Nothing blossoms. Rejected one (ones) hates me. People bo-song4* me for my indifference towards them or for some other reasons that I haven't quite fathom. I'm not close to the main group. Friendships with others.

So what have I learnt:
People don't like being rejected. Men (boys) hate you after getting their ego shattered. (Hey, I reject people very nicely k...)
People don't like my indifference. I guess I'm too individualistic and just don't follow along with the crowd. (All I can remember is people being displeased when I don't attend all class gatherings, sit with class table etc etc. I guess I have more fun or am more comfortable with others.)

I guess this 'group' thing is really quite Singaporean. To go along with the crowd and all. And I seem to stick out like a sore thumb when I don't conform. Some people, such as OF, get away with it because he just blends in/fades into the background. Can you imagine people being pissed at him for skipping class gatherings? Nope!!!

So being rather egocentric, I've decided that people value their self worth based upon my affirmation. I guess this is true in the case of romantic rejections. For the other non-romantic (maybe?) group issue, I don't know what's up with them. I have my hunches that it got to do with the fact that I seem rather spoilt and privileged and that I seem to get what I want. Jealousy? Maybe. People don't like people who have it so easy. Come on, don't lie to yourself, you get irritated when peers (who are not close to you) have good things happen to them (especially when you are dissatisfied with your life).

So am I supposed to look ugly and gross and so no one will like me? (Oh-gosh, guys fall for any creature in a skirt. That's for another blog entry.) Am I supposed to conform and do retarded things that are a TOTAL waste of my time and money just to be with the crowd?

I hope not. Maybe now, that people are growing OLDER and more self assured, I can traverse this new phase of my life with less wreckage.


Note 1: Things are very possibly not as bad as portrayed. But what the heck, it's my blog.
Note 2: Suddenly, it occurred to me that such things (negativity and group-think issue) are started/due to the MALES in the group. Hm, this gives me another reason to hate men.

*bo-song4: Singlish; displeased with, not happy with.

Trying too hard

It has become apparent to me that one must not try too hard, or appear to try hard.

Make up: You have to look naturally beautiful. Sheesh, the make up should look like it is not there. Make up is meant to cover up your ugly flaws, but you can't look like you slap on too much or else you will be trying too hard to look good.

Academia: You have to get good grades without studying too much. Else you will just be a mugger toad. People take great pains to look like they are not working so hard.

Interpersonal: You have to be nice and sociable without trying so hard to fit into a group. People should love you and accept you without you trying. But how do you get yourself into such situations without trying? Things just don't work this way.

Dating: You can't be, or look desperate. Enough said.

Style: Your wardrobe should be casually put together, yet still oh-so-stylish.

Blogging: You have to be interesting without appearing like you are trying to be interesting. (Haha, ran out of ideas.. so I'm not going to TRY to write more.)

Happy Easter!

I feel....

Oh gosh, I just came across this rather fun website about people's feelings. (wefeelfine.org) You can play around with the data, look at differences between genders, countries etc. It is pretty and all colourful, just the sort of thing I like. I especially like reading the mumblings of Singaporeans. Haha.. Lots of Singlish!

But check this out. Singapore is actually the saddest city, and also one of the loneliest. This might not be the most scientific way to go about evaluating cities, but it does hold some element of truth. (Why else would I go: Ah, why I am not surprised.)

Side note:
I feel un-understood. It's not really misunderstood. More like a feeling that one doesn't get what I'm trying to convey. It's a lack of the Ah-ha sensation. I feel I have so much to say yet all my words seem to be like balls rolling down this darken funnel to nowhere. (It's really what I see in my mind: balls rolling down a dark funnel. I don't hear the balls reaching any potential end. It's just the sound of them spinning around. The sounds grow fainter, but I still hear them.)

I keep getting hints or should I call them, obvious in-your-face signals, about the missing kindred feeling I'm seeking.

I'm such a problematic soul. Nothing seems good enough for me.

20-something and still single

It is crappy to be single in your 20s. Your new friends are all superficial acquaintances who are prone to leaving you in shit holes. Your closer friends are attached and their best friend is their partner. You have lots to say but no one to share it with. You end up doing lots of things alone, as it is no longer possible to drag people to events, shopping, conventions, things that only you care about. You hate Valentine's, Christmas, New Year, March Break etc because you have no one to spend the days with. There is nothing to look forward to on your birthday. Stop lying to yourself that the surprise birthday party thrown together by your casual friends is JUST what you are expecting. You rather spend a quiet evening with someone who really cares about you (or with a group of friends and THAT special someone).

People around you are getting married and you are still mindlessly wandering around the realms of singlehood. You work hard and achieve success in many areas, but there is no one to share the joy. Money is a lot less fun when you have no one to spend it on or to spend it with. You fear becoming that cranky old man/woman who lives alone and dies alone.

You want children, at least some time in the future, but see no potential mate. You are bored and have no one to call. You are on MSN far too often. No one really cares if you look gross and have food stuck between your teeth. You don't know who you can turn to if you need help.

And time passes so slowly.

Don't worry too much, you are just stuck in Erikson's Intimacy vs Isolation stage. (see picture below) I'm not saying it's good to be single and to die alone but have faith that many are stuck in the same position. (If you are the only one in that situation then you ought to feel really shithole-ish. I mean who are you going to pair up with?)


Thus, the need for belonging and love is oh-so-important (see picture below). You need it before you can move on to things like self-esteem and self-actualisation, i.e. things that will make you truly blissful.

So, I'm not denying that it's crappy to be single in your 20s. It's nothing wrong and in fact, really quite common. It's okay to want companionship. Hahaha, why do people feel so bad acknowledging they want company. Everyone agrees that they want success, but few want to come across as someone who wants love. Ah, it's the single and desperate thing. Nothing wrong to be desperate for love, just don't come across as one. Society prefers people who are more indifferent about it. (You probably lower your potential if you look so desperate. People want to date people who have CHOICES, aka, more than 1 person liking you.)

Tinge of Irritation

As I grew older, I became more skeptical. (My JC math teacher was going: You are so skeptical.) I guess more of my experiences with people are fraught with negativity and laced with intentions.

In my teenage years, dissatisfaction at relationships mainly arose from parental issues and below-expectations dates.

Now, my trusted friends are limited to those from my secondary school past. These are people who grew up with me and watched me do stupid things. They may judge, bitch and whine, but then, they always wish for the best for me.

Why this ranting?
Because a certain specific someone EO (Evil One) kept bugging me about my graduate school plans. Usually I'm pretty open about telling people about my plans, practically everyone who reads this blog knows where I'm going to. But he, EO, has been bugging me about my GRE grades, my graduate school plans etc etc. And I am so hesitant in telling because I know he doesn't wish for me to do well.

A very good benchmark (haha, reminds me of 2.2 million minister salary, but lets not go into that) of how good a friend or partner is how he/she behaves when something good happens to you. He/she should be happy for you when you get your raise/promotion/lottery/new date or anything that is good for you. (If you are dating a total jerk, maybe the hesitation is justified.)

The important people, aka really good friends, wouldn't leave you in some shit hole. Those superficial good-time friends are probably not going to be around when you need help. I haven't really been in any major shit holes, but when I am, there are usually those I can turn to for help. (Thanks in advance!)

Hm, I don't really think my future graduate school plans are shit hole-ish, but I don't like to share the news with EO. I just don't wish to hear insincere congratulations while knowing that he is cursing on the inside. Then he will go off to tell others and bitch about how I manage to do it.

Haha, I would like to think that I'm self-assured enough to not need such reassurance about my abilities. (This seems like a rather lame attempt at self reassurance.)

But all is fine, and I'm now choosing friends with a lot more caution. Unfortunately, it is much harder to make friends this way. =(

The horrid EO incident just left me with a bitter taste and slight irritation, which has evaporated after venting on this blog.

*peace*