Why I no accent?

Okay, I’ve been in Toronto for 2 years and I still speak Singlish. Maybe Canadian-accented Singlish, but it is still Singlish. I try my best to speak proper English but with my strong Singaporean accent, no one could make head or tail of what I am saying. Maybe, I’m exaggerating but there are times when I get a blank stare after speaking. And I’m using proper English (so I think) without any la-s/ mah-s/ loh-s.

I have heard others from other nations speak, in particular, I know someone from Iran who speaks with a strong Iranian accent (if there is such a thing), and I have difficulties, major difficulties understanding what she is saying even though she uses proper sentences. Oh gosh, I fear that sound that way to the Canadians. It would put me at such a disadvantage. Who in the right mind would want to hire someone who cannot be understood by the rest of the firm?

Thus, I’ve been trying and trying to ‘gek’* an accented. [irrelevant fact: one friend back home even said I speak with a sight accent.] I mean, I have ample opportunity to speak Canadian since everyone here speaks Canadian. I work with professors and colleagues that speak Canadian, but why can’t I master the language (or should I say accent)? I surveyed the tiny sample around me and found that some Singaporeans manage to ‘gek’ out a pretty decent sounding accent, while others (me), remain highly incompetent.

Here are my theories to explain this:

1) I came to Canada when I’m FAR too old. Eighteen is too old for one to learn an accent. The language structures (Broca’s, Wernicke's area) in my brain have withered into raisins. I mean, just take a look at my attempts to learn French. 6 months at Alliance Française but I could barely utter a respectable phrase except Je ne parle pas française.
2) I am staying with fellow Singaporeans. If I were to move into some ang moh enclave, my Canadian will improve by leaps and bounds. This theory is inspired by my PRC ex-house mate who moved away to gain more exposure to ‘proper’ English.
3) I already speak with an accent (or maybe I don’t). The point is that my BAD English is the cause of other’s incomprehension. This reminds me of the time when I was teaching Singlish to a Hongkong friend (ahh.. such nationalism).

The conversation proceeded as follows:
Me: Buaya is cocodal. Cocodal eats people (flirts), so (name of other friend) is a buaya.
Friend: What is cocodal?
Me: Cocodal is the one with the big teeth, kind of like alligator.
Friend: Alligator?
Other friend: It’s cro-co-dile.
Me: Cro-co-dile, big teeth. Cro-co-dile.
Friend: (laughs) Why did you say co-co-dal.

This conversation aptly describes my English standard. Thus, it might not be my lack of ability to ‘gek’ an accent, but my bad English (Singlish) ruining my attempts to be understood.

This leads much that I have to ponder over.

* gek – (Singlish) force out