Hmmm...

Oh well… Life is a routine. I have given up hope on doing my GREs this July for I have too many words to squeeze into my tiny brain.

I was chatting with some friends concerning relationships, dating in general. My friends back home in Singapore seem to have a vibrant dating life, 5 people chasing, parties, handmade cheesecakes, the it’s-so-normal-to-have-a-million-guys-after-me situation. Anyway, it’s a huge contrast to my life in this part of the hemisphere. I have no one after me, it’s a far cry from my younger days where I could count crushes/flings/whatnots off my fingers. I guess it’s bad for the esteem to be in such a situation. I feel I’m not living my youth to the fullness, I’m freaking 20, and the world is not treating me as such.

I guess I missed the excitement of having a ‘half-half’ situation: having a crush that likes you. The stolen glances, the late night phone calls, the mad preparation before a date… it’s unbelievable how a simple sms for that special someone could light up your day.

I recall the days. I guess one person left the greatest impression on me, let us call him MB. He was probably my first crush that reciprocated. One day, a bunch of friends (MB and I included) went out together, we got on a bus and MB and I sat together. I was obscenely happy, even though it was just ‘sitting together on a bus’. We had a delightful, flirting conversation on that short bus trip, and I can still remember the gist of it.

It has been a long time since I knew MB, but I still remember him. He was the one who understood me the way I wanted him to, the one who could pacify me of my whims and complains. The last time I met him (which wasn’t all too long ago), he still gave me a slight flutter in my tummy. It was a could-have-been. Both of us agreed. Unfortunately, situations have changed and we on different continents, pursuing different paths in life.

It was a short relationship, short and sweet. We had no major conflicts and thus no resulting bad memories. Would it be possible in the future if both of us are single and in the same country? Maybe, I don’t know. But, I guess some relationships are better left the way it is, un-finished.