Of Consideration

I had a short conversation with a colleague today and was struck by the consideration he has for his girlfriend. He wishes to marry her (and bring her to the US) in approximately 2 years. To do that, he plans to have an apartment all set up and ready for her by the time she arrives. It would be what she prefers. I'm too writing inapt to clearly articulate how sweet he was and so you will just have to take my word for it.

I don't know about others but such 'feelings' can be sensed. The flicker of anger, the soft gaze at the mention of a loved one, the indifference that comes with boredom.

No crying in mastodon hunting

The Mind Of Man: How We Say “I Love You” (Without Actually Saying, “I Love You”)

Okay ladies, check it out: We love you. We love watching your sleeping face glow on our 150-thread count pillowcases. We love that mischievous glint in your eyes that says both, “You know what I’m thinking” and, “You have absolutely no idea what I’m thinking.” We love that momentary moment of punch-drunkenness when we catch a whiff of a new fragrance that makes you smell like flowers. (And we don’t even like flowers. Doesn’t anyone realize flowers are just the clown genitals of the vegetable kingdom?)

So there you have it, we love you. Can we move on now?
We didn’t think so.

A man’s ability to take his emotions, pack them like snowballs, and store them away in a beer cooler deep inside their heart was a handy evolutionary trick—there is no crying in mastodon hunting.

The next time you look deeply into your man’s eyes to intimately purr that you love him, and he responds with an imperceptible grunt, don’t emo-spazz and have a text breakdown about relationships with your bitter man-hating friend Brittany, because, after all, she’s just jealous you have a guy who has problems muttering the most important and overused words in this or any other language. Instead, consider this: You ladies frequently accuse the committed XY chromosome in your lives of being emotionally unavailable, but have you ever considered that most of you are emotionally over-available? A man’s ability to take his emotions, pack them like snowballs, and store them away in a beer cooler deep inside their heart was a handy evolutionary trick—there is no crying in mastodon hunting.

Your dude’s reluctance to declare his love like some cheesy love ballad spewing jukebox in boxers isn’t the absence of love. Words are cheap (sneaky lotharios buy them wholesale) and you should know better than to judge us by how often we declare our affections. We know you’re the talkative, more emotionally intelligent gender, which is why we never doubt your genetic compulsion to advertise your heart’s surplus of romantic goods and services. We love to hear you gush.

But cut us some slack, because we tell you we love you all the time, and we do it without saying we do. It’s not that we’re clever; it’s just that we’re the action-oriented gender. And if you need proof to back up this fact, consider these ways we say the “L” word, without ever having to actually to say it.

1. We Happily Go To Something Called “Brunch,” Which Is French For “I Am Castrated” Dudes don’t need a reason to drink Sunday afternoons, but apparently you do. And if we’re going to drink something on the Lord’s day, it sure isn’t going to be watered down mimosas. You no doubt learned to love this infernal social tick from watching those glampires chat and chew on emotional porno The Show That Will Not Be Named About Vapid Banshees And Their Designer Handbags.We’re not casting blame. We happily go to eat breakfast food noticeably lacking in corn beef hash, and engage in silly, urbane conversations with you in noisy bistros because we love you and want you to be happy. Why is every dish festooned with fruit, anyway?

2. We Gladly Let You Drag Us From Department Store To Shoe Store To Candle Store Why do you ladies insist on touching everything in a store? If you shopped the way dudes shop, like highly trained members of Delta Force, you’d be a more efficient, credit-card debt accruing ninja. For some reason, though, you shop the way little old Italian ladies pray the rosary: slowly. So slowly, that we can feel our facial hair grow. Have you ever turned to your man whilst fluffing a cranberry duvet you’re totally not interested in buying to say, disingenuously, “Are you okay?” How did we respond? “Absolutely, yes, I’m fine. Take your time.” We didn’t mean it, but our desire to see your discount hungry mind blissed out is completely genuine.

3. We Change Personal Habits You Think Are “Bad,” But We Think Are “Whatever” Clipping our toenails next to that day old, empty pot of mac and cheese while wearing threadbare boxers isn’t a big deal to us, but clearly it upsets you. Same goes for the moldy shower curtain that isn’t too moldy, our mismatched dishes, and coming home stinking like the wino banished from Winoville for being too much of a wino, huh? Dudes don’t like to change because change is a major pain in the butt. But when change comes with the added benefit of making our woman more proud to be with us, then we do it, albeit at a glacier’s pace. All y’all females have never realized a fact dudes are way too aware of: We’re disgusting, slovenly beasts until the right chick comes around and makes us the best possible person we can be. We love that, and love you for caring.

4. We Swallow Our Fear And Absorb Your Monthly Freak Outs Like Understanding Man-Sponges We don’t know why or what we did, but we’re sorry. How about a back massage while you vent about your evil walrus-shaped boss who hates you, that celebrity with the eating disorder who makes you hate yourself, OR your best friend who you hate because she brags about her perfect, rich boyfriend with the loft and quaff who everyone knows is in the closet, but it doesn’t really matter. Did we mention we’re sorry? And please notice the furrowed brow, pursed lips, and soothing head nod – we’re concentrating on your every word. Seriously, we are. Even if we’re not, appreciate what isn’t being said. Exactly – we’re saying nothing. Let it all out and just know that if anyone were to really threaten you, like a mastodon or terrorists, we’d go all Die Hard on them. But until such a moment, we listen, and do nothing but listen, because we love you.

5. We Pretend To Love And Even Dance To Your Music, Which Sounds Like Cartoon Animals Dying To A Beat If dudes could create a universe without Rihanna, Fergie, or Justin Timberlake, we would. And in that universe, we’d make sure all bra clasps were made of beef jerky. The ringtone booty shakers you insist are great music make us want to seal ourselves in a soundproof coffin with an iPod loaded with nothing but AC/DC, Guns N’ Roses, and Foo Fighters. Whenever we’re out, and “Umbrella” plays, we make sure to share your girly excitement, sans squeal. And, in the most profound symbol of our adoration of you, we painfully pop and drop like a wounded eagle. Appreciate this display of unconditional love, being seen dancing is as embarrassing as being photographed at a Sunday brunch, our mouths full of crème fraîche, whatever that is.

6. We Know How You Like Your Coffee, That You Hate Tomatoes, And Your Favorite Ice Cream Is “Chubby Hubby” So we’re not good at doing dishes, cleaning our sheets, or any other chores. But we’re good at running errands and will happily brave torrential rains in order to get you whatever it is that you need. Not only that, though, we have an internal database of all of your likes and dislikes. When we show up, soaked to the bone, with a plastic bag full of goodies vetted to appeal to your idiosyncratic wishes, you know you’ve got our heart on a skewer, like a personalized lollipop for you and you only. Iced Green Tea? Check. Chocolate chip granola bar? Check. Chicken nuggets with extra BBQ sauce? Check. And if tampons are included, just assume we’re thinking about that dreaded day when we get on one knee and ask you for the honor of spending our lives showing you, if not telling you, how much we love you.

From: http://www.thefrisky.com/post/246-the_mind_of_man_how_we_say_i_love_you/?cnn=yes

Of Commitment

From http://xkcd.com/310/

Cutest Ever

Crushes of my Past

Argh, I found my old crushes on Facebook. My secondary school crushes! They are as cute as I remember when I was 14 years old.

I can't bring myself to add them. They must know I was/am so fond of them!! I love Facebook. Why can't my crushes be searching for me on Facebook and adding me instead!!!

I miss being 14 and crazy. OF is being parental and oh-so-mature!!!

Me: i like guys easily
Me: -_-
Me: but only have gross guys ard now
Me: ARGH. i found my sec 2 crush on facebook!
J: i think u are really mad
J: u not happy in ur current r/s meh
J: as in u've committed to it liao..then still keep finding old crush to relive crushing memories

...

Me: my life is so sad
Me: i am drunk on depression
J: ??!?!
J: u have a date
J: u will have a gd job
J: u will have a house
J: u are NOT in spore
J: ur life where got sad?
J: even my life is not sad..and i dun even have wat u have

I am still crushed by the fact that I am not Facebook friends with my crushes. Argh!!

Overestimating

People, especially men, think too highly of themselves.

It's funny at times.

Work

It is hilarious how men always think they are smarter than women. Men think they are capable and strong and wonderful and God's gift to the human race.

Men like women to be petite, shorter than them, hairless and feminine. Men hate masculine women. They want women to leave manliness to men.

Men would only show their vulnerable side to women, typically someone girly and helpless. How amusing.

How surprising, the powerful capable men will do many many things for a woman.

And women let men entertain themselves with such silly thoughts.

Highly Successful People

I'm feeling LSE again after encountering/thinking about some highly successful people. These people have everything. Looks, intellect, talent, money/potential to make lots of money. You can see their life brilliantly unfolding in front of them.

Most of them, in addition to their perfect life, have a highly stable romantic relationship with their special someone. Such relationships are also able to withstand the turbulence of a long distance relationship.

(I'm talking about those super successful people, not the run of the mill 'relatively successful' scholars. There are not many of these people around. Thankfully, as if I don't feel LSE enough!)

Hm, my rich professor once told the class that the really rich/successful (by that he means the people with over $100 million USD) meet their wives before the age of 25. (Why didn't he say husbands? Darn it! It's a man's world.) I guess settling on a life partner early in life allows one to devote his energy pursuing his career. I guess it's kind of pointless to have all the money and no one to share it with.

Inaccurate quote from some spiderman movie (scene when that bad guy is showing the earth to Mary-Jane): There's no point in having the world unless there is someone I can give the world to.

There, so all the highly successful people have evolved skills that allow them to get and maintain great relationships and everything else they want. It's just too bad for the rest of us loser-ish people.

Dating 101: When he does too much (without you wanting him to).

I figured I'm not so great at whining, so I shall dish out unsolicited dating/relationship advice instead. Hahaha.

He (includes partners, boyfriends, almost boyfriends, people who like you, etc etc) does too much when:
- He does your Math assignments for you (including visiting your professor to ask questions) when you told him: "leave it, it's fine"
- Neglects sleep, social life, food, schoolwork to keep you company
- Washes your all dishes
- Folds 1000 paper cranes for you, write your name on many tiny macaronis (that sort of thing)

These are just examples... They may or may not have happened to me (or my friends). Don't speculate. Tsk!

After doing all these redundant, yet sweet, things, he will complain or feel wei3 qu1 (wronged).
Why? Because he had invested so much time/effort and you didn't reciprocate/appreciate.

My point of view (and, maybe, other females):
Hello?! I didn't ask you to do so many things... so if you don't want to do it, don't. Else, do it (to make me happy) and don't complain.

I don't know why guys think that we should appreciate the things we didn't ask/want them to do. My analogy: Guys doing too much (without me wanting him to) = force feeding (caviar), when I'm full and fat.

Oh yes, we unappreciative females appreciate your kind thoughts and attempts (keyword: attempts), to please us. You are nice and kind and sweet, but PLEASE don't complain, whine or feel wronged after doing what you chose to do. We didn't put a gun to your head.
(You might have the right to whine, if we forced you into the task.)

So, guys, go ahead and do whatever you want to proclaim your undying love. Just don't sulk and expect that we will always appreciate it (as much as you like us to).

Qualifier: You still got to do the basic stuff that is expected of you. (i.e. send the girl home, celebrate valentine's day/birthday/anniversary, listen to her talk/whine/bitch/cry)