frivolous fluff...

Happy Chinese New Year

2012-01-24T17:46:00.001-05:00

Dragon year for Purin and Sirotan!

On happiness

2012-01-21T13:41:00.001-05:00

I'm becoming increasing convinced that happiness is a choice. It's as simple as choosing what you want for dinner. If you don't like your dinner, change it or make another. Tragically, some feel that they cannot make their dinner choices. I guess making your own choices forces you to be fully responsible for the consequences. And people don't want that kind of responsibility. And the choices one makes may reflect the dark and probably sinister aspects of self that many refuse to confront.

People like to keep believing that they are angels when they really are not.

Yellow Retriever Cakes

2012-01-18T18:33:00.002-05:00

Okay.. I just baked a Japanese style green tea cake. It's a 10 day belated birthday cake for OF. OF says it is like Black Hound cakes so I'm naming it Yellow Retriever Cakes after my dear Purin.

Here is Purin with a real Black Hound cake.

And other pictures of the green tea cake. Looks pro eh? I was too cheap to buy powdered green tea / matcha... So I chopped up green tea leaves instead. :-|

Hm...

2012-01-17T10:20:00.004-05:00

Why do I find him cute? He is like 50... but he sure doesn't look 50...

Tortoise

2012-01-13T23:55:00.001-05:00

My tortoise is still alive and well. Yar yar, I know it's a turtle, but I like to call it tortoise. He is 15 this year. I had him since Primary 5. Gosh I'm old.

Instant prawn mee

2012-01-13T03:05:00.001-05:00

Chestnuts roasting in the oven...

2011-12-30T21:28:00.001-05:00

Things I do on my self declared staycation.

Waffles

2011-12-19T15:57:00.001-05:00

Steinway Piano Hammers (bass & treble)

2011-12-13T13:13:00.001-05:00

Flu + Milk intolerance

2011-12-12T23:13:00.002-05:00

Fact: If you don't get the flu shot, you'll probably get the flu.

And I think I am allergic to fresh milk. Darn my life.

Random Cyber Monday Purchases

2011-12-03T01:14:00.001-05:00

Toy story peas and cheap Corelle plates!

MBS Hawker

2011-11-11T13:17:00.003-05:00

I just spent 1 hour of my life watching an interview on the MBS hawker who won a 416k. I'm struck by her attitude towards life. I guess it proves what everyone has been saying.. that I am darn auntie. But I won't mind if I can live like her. It's not the money but the attitude towards people and animals. I wish I have the guts to do the things she did.

More videos at http://www.straitstimes.com/STI/STIMEDIA/sp/stsite/section-razorTV.html

Brontosaurus

2011-11-10T16:22:00.004-05:00

I like brontosaurus.

from http://xkcd.com/636/

from http://xkcd.com/650/

And I'm recently into tapirs.

Another late night post

2011-11-03T01:11:00.003-04:00

Life has been pretty rough these days. Some of it is real, some of it imaginary, other parts self created.

I've been getting flickering moments of insight. I guess all things happen for a reason aka karma.

I guess I'm at that age where the window to "the life I always wanted to have" is closing. Once past 30, your life is more or less set. There is a reason why the Fields Medal is only meant for those under 40.

I'm a sucker for nostalgia. If you watched Midnight in Paris, you will understand. The 80s really appeal to me. Yes, I'm addicted to iphone games, but I still prefer the pre smartphone, facebook era. It just seems so wrong. These day everyone stares into a back lit screen for hours on end.

Okay, back to my point. I feel that your 20s really define your life. The people who 'succeed' have it all figured out. The faster you figure life out, the more time you have to work towards your goals. Even now, among people in their 20s, I can see that the more focused people are in a better place as compared to those who are just lumbering along.

I stumbled upon this blog about Singapore. It feeds my need for nostalgia and has nice xinyaos. I'm glad I'm not the only person into such things.

Bottle caps, Purin and biscuits

2011-10-20T17:44:00.001-04:00

Sirotan's many expressions

2011-10-08T15:10:00.001-04:00

早安老师 + 再见老师

2011-10-06T20:53:00.002-04:00

Old school. The things I sing at home.

Oh, and I missed school and now what...

2011-10-06T12:16:00.002-04:00

Today, my alarm did not go off as planned (DARN YOU SMART PHONE TECHNOLOGY) and I missed school. And I was upset, still upset, am upset. And I find this is rather ridiculous. Why am I so upset over such a small thing? Maybe it is the Singaporean cannot-ever-miss-school mentality that I was brought up with. Argh, I feel like my life is almost over and I haven't yet lived. I have to go do something. But there is nothing better at the moment. Life is all relative.

Fall of Icarus

2011-10-05T10:47:00.002-04:00

It's curious how things converge into some form of understanding. The Fall of Icarus is very much on my mind these days.

What I have been reading

2011-09-26T11:05:00.001-04:00

Instead of research papers, I've been wasting time reading books.

Tennis vampires and werewolves

2011-09-12T19:17:00.001-04:00

I'm watching US Open final on my computer. Novak has white spots on his neck // Edward Cullen. He is also super fast. Rafael is muscular and looks like Jacob Black. Haha.

Anderson Cooper at Columbus Circle

2011-08-30T21:59:00.001-04:00

I saw Anderson Cooper while waiting in line to get into Whole Foods before Hurricane Irene. He is super cute. I was squealing in delight after spotting him but the other New Yorkers were indifferent. Blah. They don't know how to appreciate good things.

Hurricane Irene

2011-08-27T12:06:00.001-04:00

My pathetic light supply.

French Pastry

2011-08-09T16:44:00.001-04:00

OF made these. I think they are called croquembouche but I may be wrong. Purin likes them!

Purin is back!

2011-08-04T21:16:00.001-04:00

Sanrio has decided to bring back Purin! I got myself a big soft Purin shipped from Japan. My life feels complete!!!

Healthy attempts

2011-08-03T09:39:00.001-04:00

Green bean soup for breakfast.

Bitter gourd juice

2011-07-27T10:28:00.001-04:00

Healthy = 100
Tasty = -50

Happy skin. Unhappy tastebuds.

Herbivores and me

2011-07-24T00:33:00.001-04:00

I was eating watermelon with OF when we decided that humans only eat land animals that are 'mainly herbivores'. We're not considering worms, insects and the like as 'animals'. So I'm classifying chicken as herbivore of some sorts.

Granted that Asian people drink snake blood, eat bear paws and tiger penises... Those are more medicinal than food food. You get the point. According to YouTube, some people eat cats and dogs... But those are the rarer exception.

Hmm, why do humans typically eat herbivores but leave carnivores alone? Maybe carnivores are too expensive to be eaten. OF says carnivores are too smelly and tough to eat. Pigs are omnivorous? Maybe that is why they have the 臭 pork 味.

TCM and Skin

2011-07-22T08:41:00.005-04:00

Summer is giving me terrible skin! Shall post this here in case I have problems tracking down information next time.

What TCM says about pimples and acne

Pimples and acne can be an annoying ailment that affects everyone, not just teenagers still undergoing hormonal changes.

Outbreaks can still occur in adults who have long passed their teenage years, appearing on areas such as the face, neck, back, arms or even on the torso.

One of the most visible areas that acne can appear is on the face.

While Western wisdom says that pimples and acne are caused by excessive sebum, or hormonal imbalance, proponents of traditional Chinese medicine believe that a blemished complexion is indicative of trouble in other parts of the body.

We have collected a list of the various symptoms that are associated with pimples and acne collected from various online TCM resources.

Pimples on forehead

According to one TCM website, pimples on the forehead may indicate problems with the heart and blood circulation.

This can be caused by mental tiredness, resulting in bad tempers.

What you can do: Keeping early hours and having a good night's rest will be the natural solution. Drinking plenty of water will also help.

Those who suffer the above symptoms should also strike a balance between work and rest and not worry too much.

Pimples on the nose

A blemished nose may point to a variety of ailments.

Pimples growing on the bridge of the nose may indicate problems with the spine while pimples on the tip of the nose may be linked to digestive system problems.

However, if pimples spread to both sides of the nose, it may indicate problems related to the ovarian or reproductive function or the reproductive system.

Some traditional Chinese medicine practitioners also believe that pimples on the nose may be caused by eating habits and food preferences

Pimples on jawline

Jawline pimples may indicate problems with the kidneys, or problems with the gland that pours hormones into the blood. Girls who are prone to jawline pimples may suffer from irregular menstrual cycles.

What you can do: Practitioners believe that such problems can be solved by nourishing the kidneys.

Pimples on cheeks

Pimples on both sides of the cheeks also may be due to different health issues.

Pimples growing on the left cheek may be caused by stagnated liver functions, such as liver secretions, detoxification or other functions. Pimples on the right cheek may be caused by abnormal lung function.

Pimples on hairline and lips

However, other than such related body ailments, external circumstances like improper cleaning procedures or contamination from chemicals may also result in outbreak.

For example, the use of unsuitable hairgel or leftover toothpaste around the lip areas may also cause pimples.

What you can do: Ensure that the washing lotion that you are using is suitable for your skin condition and that your facial cleansing methods are sound.

From: http://www.asiaone.com/Health/Health%2BMatters/Story/A1Story20110609-283117.html

Post exam sushi

2011-07-21T13:37:00.001-04:00

I finally finished my exams. Learnt a few things about the literature and also on annoying human tendencies.

OF and I went to Gari because I'm into overpriced Japanese food.

Sirotan for President

2011-07-15T17:05:00.001-04:00

Currently 4 Tans are running to be Singapore's next President. I think my lumpy little SiroTan should join the competition too.

: )

Purin Tower

2011-07-11T18:01:00.001-04:00

My tower has Purin on it. :)

Seal hug

2011-07-01T13:25:00.001-04:00

Ginseng in a mug

2011-06-30T15:09:00.001-04:00

My latest addiction.

Whole Foods suck all my money!

2011-06-23T01:43:00.001-04:00

Animal cookies

2011-06-23T00:48:00.001-04:00

Randomly baked stuff because I didn't feel like doing work. And also because I wanted to use my cute cookie cutters I bought in some Japanese store in San Francisco.

Brontohsaurus

2011-06-22T12:55:00.001-04:00

Bathing cat

2011-06-17T03:10:00.001-04:00

Hilarious bathing cat widget!

Purin and cookie

2011-06-12T15:45:00.001-04:00

Summer in New York

2011-06-09T14:19:00.001-04:00

It's obvious that I've lived in NYC for too long when I find AM new york's article funny and true.

5 minute chocolate cake

2011-06-03T16:07:00.001-04:00

Microwaved chocolate cake + Haagen-Dazs strawberry icecream = yum

Last umbrella tree

2011-04-23T10:23:00.001-04:00

Two trees died. Maybe this will survive. I see new shoots.

Of Karma

2011-04-22T03:13:00.003-04:00

I'm not the sort branded as religious. I will go even as far as to say that I have been labelled anti-religion. If you must know, I'm pro-science. But this does not mean I'm anti-religion.

But surprise surprise, I think I am rather spiritual. I have spent some chunk of my post prefrontal cortex development years pondering about the concept of karma. Maybe I am making a bias search, but I am becoming increasing convinced about karma. What goes around comes around and bite you in the butt, rather painfully. I see it happening to me, to people around me, and to some distant associates.

Things that happen, happen for a reason. Often times the reason is not apparent, but sometimes one gains sudden insight about why certain things occur. The clarity is painfully clear at times.

Awake at 430

2011-04-18T04:30:00.001-04:00

Musing about friendship when I'm supposed to be working.

Create opportunities for higher incomes

2011-04-17T02:17:00.003-04:00

I was just reading news on the 2011 Singapore general elections when I came across the PAP's slogan 'Securing Our Future Together' with its six planks (Why planks? I thought planks are pieces of wood? So we need to secure our future together with 6 wooden sticks?? Hm.. just webster-ed, my English is not good enough... apparently plank can mean: an article in the platform of a political party / a principal item of a policy or program... So there, I learn something new every day!).

The Six Planks:
- Create opportunities for higher incomes
- Improve the lives of lower-income Singaporeans
- Bring out the best in every child
- Develop a vibrant city and an endearing home
- Help the elderly stay active, healthy and engaged
- Involve all Singaporeans in shaping the future

The first thing that went through my mind after reading the 1st plank was "wah, so obvious create more opportunities for rich people ah? Like that can meh?". [Create opportunities for "higher incomes" (noun)]

I had to read that plank a few times over before I figure it probably meant: to create opportunities for (people to have) higher incomes!

How I know... maybe the government wants rich people to vote for them and keep the status quo. And is it very hard to add a few more words to prevent confusion?!

OF thought it was a not so subtle hint for the higher incomes to vote for PAP. Maybe... just maybe... If I vote PAP, can PAP please guarantee me a job when I go back to Singapore? Thank you very much!

Of Consideration

2011-04-16T00:01:00.004-04:00

I had a short conversation with a colleague today and was struck by the consideration he has for his girlfriend. He wishes to marry her (and bring her to the US) in approximately 2 years. To do that, he plans to have an apartment all set up and ready for her by the time she arrives. It would be what she prefers. I'm too writing inapt to clearly articulate how sweet he was and so you will just have to take my word for it.

I don't know about others but such 'feelings' can be sensed. The flicker of anger, the soft gaze at the mention of a loved one, the indifference that comes with boredom.

Lonely panda

2011-04-13T23:05:00.001-04:00

I'm really fond of this picture for some unknown reason.

Land turtle

2011-04-12T21:58:00.001-04:00

What I come home to

2011-04-07T19:19:00.002-04:00

This was pasted on my mirror. I can't figure out how to rotate images in html. Blah! Tech fail!

Silly Priorities

2011-03-11T13:53:00.003-05:00

A professor tells a class that people have silly priorities. People pursue what they think would make them happy, not what actually does.

Balloons and Purin

2011-03-11T13:47:00.001-05:00

A Violin Named Lilac

2011-02-14T02:04:00.004-05:00

I had my Czech violin for a few years. If the label is accurate, the violin was made in 1928 in Bohemia. However, I've strong suspicions about its background... the label appears to be pasted over another. Whatever, it is really not supposed to matter (even though I am a sucker for history and tradition). It is also made by this Martin Figuer person. I can't find any history about the maker on google, but then, internet doesn't exist back in those days.

I've never really settled on a name for my violin. My previous instrument was named Luke. Luke was a handmade (mass produced?) China made instrument. The Czech violin is 'pretty' and delicate. On good days, it sounds almost sweet. I was debating between 'Lilac' or 'Lavender'. Well, Lavender sounds too sweet and girly for my liking so I guess my violin is currently named Lilac. I know it doesn't make much sense, using a color as a name for an instrument. It is odd on so many levels. For one, people don't usually name their musical instruments.

But whatever, a blog post to Lilac on Valentines Day.

Tourist and a Veteran

2011-01-31T22:43:00.006-05:00

I was sulking on the "R" train as I made my way to school when I saw a man poring over the subway map plastered to the train wall. He was trying to find his way to South Ferry terminal when an old man offered his help. After explaining that he should get off at Whitehall Street, the old man shared this story:

Old man: I will never forget Whitehall St. When I came back from Vietnam, they processed us at Whitehall. I was only 17 when I joined the army. They told us to join to army to see the world. I joined the army not to see the world. I wanted to get away from my mother! (laughter)

Message to a violinist friend on facebook

2011-01-31T22:41:00.002-05:00

"poke" a violinist
when i ought to be practicing
maybe i'll improve

Being Nice

2011-01-10T14:35:00.000-05:00

From 9 Chickwick Lane, Jan 10, 2011

Putin's Blueberry Hill

2010-12-13T20:55:00.002-05:00

Somehow, this makes me smile.

A quiet moment

2010-12-10T16:02:00.003-05:00

I went for the memorial service today and finally got a chance to know him better. It is rather sad to only know him better after his death.

I quote the pastor: When you were born, you cried, and the world rejoiced. Live your life in such a manner that when you die, the world cries and you rejoice.

The Real Death of a Facebook Friend

2010-12-09T02:47:00.003-05:00

Recently, someone I know, a facebook friend, an okay acquaintance of mine passed away in the most unfortunate of instances. I'm rather confused about how I should feel as we are acquaintances. I don't feel particularly entitled to be upset. It is for his family and close ones to grieve, for my grief is only self pity, a cry for attention that really unneeded in these times. I don't know what to feel but hope those who cared deeply for him find solace that he had led a good life, successfully pursuing opportunities limited to a worthy few. His circumstances were not great and he had managed to get to where he did. I almost feel undeserving to be his peer, for not cherishing what I have and the opportunities given. With as little morbidly as I can muster, he probably deserve his PhD position more than me.

I was speaking to a rather good friend about this incident and he said: At least I'm glad you are still alive. It is at once, a flattering yet chilling reminder of how the inward focused life has become. I'm glad my friend prefers me alive, but he seems not to be at all afflicted with general malaise caused by the passing of an acquaintance. Perhaps I am at the wrong extreme, generally feeling upset for people that I don't know well, 2nd degree friends etc. Maybe I shall better utilize my energies, for I too have learnt that really no one cares a crap about you.

Death is just another event in life. And I have recently been reading this (from a mobile app): Ordinary people seem not to realize that those who really apply themselves in the right way to philosophy are directly and of their own accord preparing themselves for dying and death. - Socrates

我问天 variations

2010-11-30T18:55:00.003-05:00

Possibly the original Hokkien version. The other 2 videos below are in Chinese with han yu pin yin... they are much easier to sing along but I much prefer the Hokkien version. I'm perpetually fascinated with such LC stuff, LC-ness is an inherent suppressed part of me that is dormant in NYC. Urgh. That why I have to go back. I wonder whether I would be so LC in Singapore. OF is, of course, appalled by me. But he is sort of used to it and even sings along these days.

Entitled to what?

2010-11-18T11:54:00.004-05:00

I hate the North American self-esteem hogwash. I don't appreciate the "everyone gets a trophy for participation" thing. Hello, get what you earned. Live with what you have, there are no participation trophies in the real world.

The things people should be entitled to: human rights, aka you should have the rights not to be tortured, horribly humiliated etc etc. Everything else is extra. So, you are not entitled to have the best seat in the restaurant, have people give up their seat for you, for me to help you etc.

There is a clear distinction between what you are entitled to (ie food you paid for) and what is extra (others being nice, considerate, wonderful).

Okay, granted, it might suck if your parents hate your existence, maybe they should fulfill their parental responsibilities and make you feel loved, provide decent parenting, food, education and shelter... But I don't get this entitled thing!? Why do people feel entitled to stuff.

Granted, I am a rather lazy, spoilt, highly neurotic person who needs to be shoveled off the couch when I am home. So who am I to comment on the rest of the possibly less-glued-to-the-couch people.

I guess my point is that most people think that they are better than others (cite research) and hence, believe that they should be treated differently. How irrational everyone is! I need people to be more objective, to more accurately gauge themselves, their expectations, their desires.... I'm filled with dark, horrid things and at least I'm clear and objective about it.

Alter Ego 2

2010-11-04T13:52:00.003-04:00

from Calvin and Hobbes Nov 4, 2010.

Rather similar to this. I guess I like the same things.

《爱的代价》

2010-10-04T21:37:00.001-04:00

还记得年少时的梦吗
像朵永远不调零的花
陪我经过那风吹雨打
看世事无常
看沧桑变化
那些为爱所付出的代价
是永远都难忘的啊
所有真心的痴心的话
永在我心中虽然已没有他
走吧走吧人总要学着自己长大
走吧走吧人生难免经历苦痛挣扎
走吧走吧为自己的心找一个家
也曾伤心流泪
也曾黯然心碎
这是爱的代价
也许我偶尔还是会想他
偶尔难免会惦记着他
就当他是个老朋友啊
也让我心疼也让我牵挂
只是我心中不再有火花
让往事都随风去吧
所有真心的痴心的话
仍在我心中
虽然已没有他
走吧走吧人总要学着自己长大
走吧走吧人生难免经历苦痛挣扎
走吧走吧为自己的心找一个家
也曾伤心流泪
也曾黯然心碎
这是爱的代价
走吧走吧人总要学着自己长大
走吧走吧人生难免经历苦痛挣扎
走吧走吧为自己的心找一个家
也曾伤心流泪
也曾黯然心碎
这是爱的代价
.走吧走吧人总要学着自己长大
走吧走吧人生难免经历苦痛挣扎
走吧走吧为自己的心找一个家
也曾伤心流泪
也曾黯然心碎
这是爱的代价
走吧走吧人总要学着自己长大
走吧走吧人生难免经历苦痛挣扎
走吧走吧为自己的心找一个家
也曾伤心流泪
也曾黯然心碎
这是爱的代价

A True New Yorker?

2010-09-10T13:41:00.004-04:00

I was a victim of petty larceny on Wednesday, September 8, 2010. It took place in the school's lobby, right in front of the security guards, behind the key card access. I am suay3 beyond belief. Who gets robbed in school, in the lobby, by another student, at a place without a security camera. (why is there no security camera in the lobby!?!?)

Brilliant.

Of course, as with everything else in life, it is also partially my fault. Darn carelessness and stupidity and letting your guard down in school and trusting the kindness of human nature. I forgot that I was in New York.

Anyway, probability states that it is very rare for someone to be 'robbed' twice. I hope this will be my one and only robbery incident in New York.

I'm going to be in New York for 4 years. Does that make me true New Yorker?

- Been 'kiap4' by subway train

- Harassed by madmen (too many times)

- Proposition to by taxi drivers, bus drivers

- Random dirty tissue flew in my face (same day as the larceny)

- Hit by mystery water from above (too many times)

- Random guy grabbed my arm and said: I have something to tell you

- Steered a NYC ferry around Manhattan (with a pervy captain, urgh)

- Cursed at by strangers (too many times)

- Shouted at for being in the middle of the intersection by a cop (yes, this is my fault)

- Scolded by waitress for not tipping enough

- Jumping the subway turnstiles (darn subway machine is not working)

Leonard and Lula

2010-08-27T02:17:00.001-04:00

Rants at corporate slaves pics

2010-08-25T05:51:00.004-04:00

I do not like people who enjoy being corporate slaves. I find it rather ridiculous (and annoying) when people put up facebook profile pictures of themselves in professional work attire (ie one person looking professional / act cheem).

But then again, I find lots of things annoying.. If Jake Gyllenhaal does it, I probably wouldn't mind. ^_^

My Whale Friend

2010-08-23T13:18:00.001-04:00

from Sherman's Lagoon Aug 22, 2010

My Whale Friend

2010-08-23T13:14:00.002-04:00

Darn humans

2010-08-22T17:31:00.003-04:00

I'm just following the story about the NYC mosque near the 9-11 site. It never fails to amaze me how people can have extremely strong opinions about things that they do not fully comprehend / have all the facts.

It seems that many people refuse to think or question or ponder. They just want to accept what their friends, family and neighbours believe and take it as the absolute truth.

What is the point of education if you will always believe what others expect you to believe?

Hello, Again～昔からある場所～

2010-08-21T16:01:00.001-04:00

Through other's lens

2010-07-20T23:52:00.001-04:00

New favourite person

2010-07-10T10:58:00.004-04:00

I just met my baby niece today. If you want to be precise about it, she is not my niece as she is my cousin's kid... But whatever. She is two and super cute. And somehow reminded me of myself. She likes to play around with and jump on fluffy pillows.

Anyway, she refused to call me ah yee (auntie) even after being directly by her grandma. Instead she said jie jie (sister). So so happy with her!! Means I look too young to be an ah yee!!

Okay, this might seem like a really small thing. But it is not!! Why? Cos some time back, one rather annoying person demanded that her kid call me auntie!! I looked appalled.. and she went: you are auntie already, jie jie is for younger girls or something of that sort. Take note this is a few years back and I was much younger and that said person was much older (30+). SUPER ANNOYED WITH THAT PERSON (not the kid). I decided that since she is all old and frumpy, she MUST drag other less frumpy people down to her level. That person is on my list of least preferred things.

Anyway, my baby niece rocks. That said person is still as frumpy as ever. When I have a kid, I am not going make my baby call young people ah yee. Come on, it is about respecting other's youth. Give them a chance to be young. It doesn't mean that if your youth sucks, other people need to suffer with you too. (That is why I don't get why mother in laws who have it bad are abusive to their daughter in laws. Shouldn't they be more kind and understanding since they have been through the same shit? Okay.. watching too much tv...)

Okay, yeah to my niece. I need to go do more good karma things so I won't end up looking frumpy.

6 Years Abroad

2010-06-17T02:44:00.002-04:00

Well, for better or worse, I have been living in a foreign land for 6 years. It will probably be a good 10 years before I return (if I can successful return that is).

I always like to think that it is those back at home who have changed. My 6 years abroad was but a sojourn. To me I am still the same; it is my friends who have moved on in life. They have gathered more friends, new spouses, fancy careers. They have experiences in which I play no role. It's like I am that same 18 year old staring at a tape on fast forward. The scene plays and I watch.

But this is probably not true, I might be staring at the tape, but I am running alongside too. On another film roll, leading a vastly different life. In fact, my recent facebook stalking just 'scared the shit out of me'. I saw something that reminded me of how conservative people (as in people I know) are. Such facts shouldn't be all that disturbing to me, since I knew for many many years that these people were that conservative. Perhaps it is my own reaction that startled me. The innate revulsion and the immediate judgment I placed upon those who are in that category. I am sure that the 18 year old me would not jump to such conclusions. What has 6 years of overpriced education (specifically on human behavior) done to me? Have I lost the capacity to accept certain categories of people? Anything mildly anti intellectualism (okay, granted, most things are HIGHLY, not mildly anti intellectual) is extremely aversive and I recoil in horror as if being zapped by a Pavlovian electric prod. I am worried about my own stereotypic judgments (+ I probably should worry about my soul) for I am unable to reconcile the fact that I am fond of them as people, but find it hard to imagine being friends with people like that (let's just assume that I place a crazily high value on friendship). I don't not like them, I simply find it hard to be close to them, or want to share my values or my life with them (probably highly disapproved). Blah blah, you get the point.

Urgh. Maybe I am finally understanding this you-are-not-one-of-us-barrier (the guy wrote Letter to a Christian Girlfriend) that I have experienced one time too many (especially from Singaporeans, even abroad. darn). Maybe I should activate this same YANOFU-barrier towards such people when I am the target of YANOFU. Fight YANOFU with YANOFU. Haha, I think I shall call the barrier on my side, YANQE!: You-are-not-questioning-enough! (I wanted to use YANTE, but that might be rude....) I think most people have some ability to learn, but lots refuse to question or even want to hear the answer.

Willful blindness it is. Provide me with evidence and I will sway your way in an instant. 6 years abroad, I have learnt to ask even more questions. I have no answers for the bigger questions in life. My film tape of life has rolled on in a different direction. So different, it might never get to be on the same pace of those tapes of theirs.

My alter ego

2010-06-13T14:57:00.001-04:00

from Calvin and Hobbes June 13, 2010.

Atas defined

2010-06-05T16:16:00.003-04:00

I was having a conversation with an atas level 5, district 10 friend of mine and I came up with a robust system to define atas-ness. The word is being thrown around and used without a well articulated definition. So here I am, going to try to nail down its collective meaning.

There are 3 components of being atas:

1) Money

2) Education

3) Lineage

These components are necessary but not sufficient. You need all 3 to be truly atas.

To start, you need money. It can be your own money, your family's money or your significant other's money. But it has to be money that you have ready access to and can get without begging. Hence, you can be a jobless bum and still be atas if you have a well endowed trust fund at your disposal.

Education! Well, you have to have a reasonable amount of education to be atas. That rich ah beng who runs a famous hokkien mee store is NOT atas (unless he was educated in Oxford...). I guess education is always relative. The ivy leaguers think anything non ivy is second rated. The medical/law students think everyone else is third world. But you get the point, I shall not comment on where I think the line should be drawn for fear I would be classified as a snotty elitist brat.

And lastly, lineage. People always talk about the greatness of Singapore's meritocracy and the infinite possibilities of the American dream. I say BLEAH to them! Yes, yes, I think meritocracy is great, else I would probably be some salesgirl in Metro trying to see cosmetics. Urgh. *shudders* But the fact is, who your parents are matter! If they are atas and successful people, the battle in life is already half won! (provided you are on good terms with your parents) This could be particularly prevalent in certain more traditional nations, but I still see it at work in the new world.

In Singapore, it might be slightly different, in my conversation with my atas friend, I decided that school lineage is crucial to be considered atas. I mean, I finished high school like a million years ago and people are still asking me where I went to school in Singapore! I mean, people still use schools (secondary, jc) to label and classify people! Ha! I blame the emphasis on grades and academic performance. For a large chunk of people end up in NUS, but not that many attended the Raffles schools.

On that note, it is also crucial to note whether someone is a pure blood, half blood, muggle born (this is obviously Harry Potter inspired). If your parents attended atas schools/are atas people, you are a pure blood; if your parents are LC (low class)/are atas level 0 and below, you are a muggle born; and if your parents are somewhere in the middle, you are a half blood.

There you have it, a rather comprehensive definition of atas-ness. So rate yourself from atas level 0 to level 10. Give yourself a boost in the atas hierarchy if you find yourself gaining a new degree, earning more $, marrying rich or uncovering some fancy atas lineage.

Cheers to a life of continuous atas pursuits!

Food: The Five Second Rule

2010-05-17T00:58:00.001-04:00

from http://blogs.sfweekly.com/foodie/2010/01/you_dropped_food_on_the_floor.php

This is hilarious (to me).

BAs of the world unite

2010-05-14T23:38:00.004-04:00

I think lots of people forget how it is like to be young.

I remember when I was 14 or so, I (and perhaps another friend) coined the term BA. It stands for Brainless Adult. It is specifically modelled after this one particular teacher. She is nice and not particularly outstanding. She thought W and I were lesbians (that is another story)... To us, she is just so out of touch with youth, caught up with her adult life, seeking typical adult things (have not yet figured out what this is). Just the essence of anti-youth, being so grown up and reasonable (in an adult sense). Just not frivolous. Mind you, she wasn't that old, she was just in her mid-late 20s.

After a few years (~4 years), I met her again. This time as a colleague when I was working as a substitute teacher after JC. By then, she had a baby and seemed rather content with her lot. I was somewhat less appalled with her BA-ness, but still didn't want to become anything that moderately resembled her.

Back when I was 14, I remembered having conversations about never becoming BAs. Alas, along the way, many of us have evolved. Even me. At times, I catch myself doing BA-like things like mentally channelling "tsk tsk" at rowdy young(er) people.

Just recently, people from work (PFW) exclaimed that youth is wasted on the young, specially directed at me. Well, I am not that young as compared to my 14 year old self but the PFW are really not THAT much older (~10 years). They are just BAs. Perhaps BAs forgot about their younger days or didn't enjoy life when they were young. Hence, the disregard for youth and the constant attempts to try to turn people into BAs (trying to make me feel bad about being young(er) does not make me want to be BA-mature).

The more I talk to BAs, the less I want to be like them. Why should I try to look suitably old and mature when I have the rest of my life to do that? Easy to look old, crazily hard and expensive to look young.

How to identify a BA:

- People who don't find joy in little things (things that make children happy)

- They try to convert others into becoming BAs

- You can have adult conversations with them

- They do sensible things (clothes, shoes, hair, conversations) all the time

- They don't really smile

- They are the people your parents want you to be

- Disapproving of anything non sensible or fun or frivolous

Granted, I am weirder than normal and rather un-BA-like for people my age. But there are lots of BAs out there, all seeking to make the world BA-ish and sensible.

World's largest beaver dam on Google Maps + random subway observation

2010-05-07T19:27:00.005-04:00

Okay, instead of studying, I was busy tracking down the world's largest beaver dam. -_-! Ah.. the joys of procrastinating.

Anyway, I found it on Google Maps... and here is the location (near Lake Claire in Wood Buffalo National Park in Canada)!!! Wood Buffalo National Park can be located using google maps. Click on screen shot to enlarge.

Doesn't look like a beaver anything... Just some plants and mush, but what do I know.

Oh, I was on the subway today and noticed a lady sitting across me. I told myself that she looked rather Singapore (if there is actually a thing such as a Singaporean look), and then dismissed the thought. There are sooo many different types of Asian looking people, she could be Chinese, Korean etc etc.

Then I heard her speak to her friend!!! DARN!!! -> Singaporean accent. -_-|||. Her friend also looked rather Singaporean.. He was holding some NYC guide book.. Probably the 1000X Singaporeans who love love love travelling and find NYC really cool. *raises eyebrows* (disclaimer: I am not saying that NYC is not cool...)

Okay, the point is that there is a Singaporean look!! I just can't articulate it. The casual hairstyle? Singaporean looking features? I don't know. Maybe everyone with ancestors in South China look similar or have Singaporeans been inbreeding too much?

Fluffy (+ greedy) dog

2010-05-06T19:12:00.001-04:00

My far too vivid imagination

2010-05-05T11:46:00.003-04:00

This is at once funny and gruesome.

About an eel stuck up a drunk man's rectum, killing him about gnawing at his intestines.. The picture doesn't help.

http://www.practicalfishkeeping.co.uk/content.php?sid=2778

Eels are extremely strong and violent... I know, I caught one in the hudson river not too long ago. Summer is coming, I want to go fishing and maybe play some ultimate frisbee.

Eh... I am surprised you are single...

2010-05-02T12:04:00.004-04:00

Saw this on someone's facebook (wall photos)... Self uploaded. Such things make me appreciate OF. The bar is set rather low at times.

My sense of humour

2010-04-30T14:09:00.001-04:00

Bucket of Chicken Love

2010-04-20T00:01:00.005-04:00

Today, I went to KFC and bought a bucket of chicken. As I walked home, I became convinced that people gave me weird looks thinking that I am one of those tragic single women who drown their sorrows in a bucket of chicken / tub of ice cream. FML.

This can totally be a FML entry except for the fact that didn't feel sorry for myself. Pretty happy with the chicken... or is that what pathetic women tell themselves?

The things I forget

2010-04-11T22:57:00.003-04:00

Sometimes I need a reminder of just how much I like music.

The Rhythm of Life

When I started down the street last Sunday
feeling mighty low and kind of mean
Suddenly a voice said go forth neighbour
spread the picture on a wider screen
And the voice said neighbour there's a million reasons
why you should be glad in all four seasons
Hit the road neighbour leave your worries and strife
Spread the religion of the rhythm of life

Chorus
For the rhythm of life is a powerful beat
Puts a tingle in your fingers and a tingle in your feet
rhythm on the inside rhythm in the street
and the rhythm of life is a powerful beat
To feel the rhythm of life
To feel the powerful beat
To feel the tingle in your fingers
To feel the tingle in your feet (2x)

Verse 2
Go and spread the gospel in Milwaukee
Take a walkie - talkie to Rocky Ridge
All the way to Canton then to Scranton
even tell it under the Manhattan bridge

(Fast 3x)
You will make a new sensation
have a growing congregation
build a glowing operation
here below
Like a pied piper blowing
Lead and keep the music flowing
Keep the rhythm go go going, go go go

Doobi, doobi, doobi, doobi, doobi, doobi, do-bi
Doobi, doobi, doobi, doobi, doobi, doobi, do-bi
Doobi, doobi, doobi, doobi, doobi, doobi, do-bi
Doobi, doobi, doobi, doobi, doobi, doobi, do
(2x)

Flip your wings and fly up high
Flip your wings and fly up high
Flip your wings and fly up high,
Fly, fly, fly up high

You can do it if you try
You can do it if you try
You can do it if you try
Try, try, try to fly

Like a bird up in the sky
Like a bird up in the sky
Like a bird up in the sky
Fly, fly, fly up high

Chorus 3x
For the rhythm of life is a powerful beat
Puts a tingle in your fingers and a tingle in your feet
rhythm on the inside rhythm in the street
and the rhythm of life is a powerful beat

F.U.N. Song

2010-04-05T08:20:00.000-04:00

The most stifling place

2010-03-22T22:52:00.003-04:00

Today, I stumbled into the school's account department and was almost suffocated by the corporate atmosphere. I felt that I had to get out of the horrid place before the corporate stench permeates my clothes. Icky middle age white men pretending to look important in their personal office (ok, one of these pointy hair boss almost threw me out... ), little old office ladies cramped into their cubicles like animals. Just cages and cages of cubicles. *shudders* Hm, how did I survive the few instances when I had to pretend to be one of them.

Okay, my 'work' place is evolving into a corporate-cy thing too. That is why I try to spend as little time as possible there. Urgh.

How apt that I stumble across this

2010-02-18T14:33:00.005-05:00

I went to the woods because I wished to live deliberately, to front only the essential facts of life, and see if I could not learn what it had to teach, and not, when I came to die, discover that I had not lived. I did not wish to live what was not life, living is so dear; nor did I wish to practise resignation, unless it was quite necessary. I wanted to live deep and suck out all the marrow of life, to live so sturdily and Spartan- like as to put to rout all that was not life, to cut a broad swath and shave close, to drive life into a corner, and reduce it to its lowest terms, and, if it proved to be mean, why then to get the whole and genuine meanness of it, and publish its meanness to the world; or if it were sublime, to know it by experience, and be able to give a true account of it in my next excursion. For most men, it appears to me, are in a strange uncertainty about it, whether it is of the devil or of God, and have somewhat hastily concluded that it is the chief end of man here to "glorify God and enjoy him forever."

- Henry David Thoreau

The Social Contracts I Didn't Sign

2010-02-18T12:02:00.004-05:00

My blog entries are becoming rants at the world. Yes, another thing annoyed me today. Someone sent out a oh-not-so nice email directed towards forcing group members to conform to appropriate behavior. I find it ironic. I assume PhDs who spend hours poring over human behavior would have a better idea that such tactics do not work. All I am left with is a foul taste in my mouth and an active desire to avoid all group contact (with certain groups).

Well, then again, I am atypical. Everyone else might have bowed to peer pressure and evolved into yet another annoying creature that seeks to enforce group behavior.

This is especially so since I didn't agree to be part of the social group. I get it that if I willingly submit myself to some darn CCA in school, I would have to conform and be like them. I am so glad that my identity is not defined by my official 'career'. If a meteorite destroys my life work, I would like to think I would be able to brush it off and continue with the more important things in life.

I guess I am more smug than pissed off now. Pleased that I am not those mindless (again ironic) beings who give themselves to institutions. Yes, you get your self esteem, ego and affirmation from that one place that probably fills your heart with sunshine and rainbow. I am probably a fragmented soul aka Voldemort whose world is a constant drizzle. But I like that to believe that as I stand in my rained filled muddy patch, freezing without purpose, I exist for a cause more real than in the world where the sunshine burns like acid and the rainbow is acrylic and bitter.

Annoying Irrationality

2010-02-10T15:03:00.003-05:00

Okay, I've figured out what is the most annoying thing ever. Irrational people who feel that they must impose their lack of rationality upon me. Urgh. Most most most annoying ever.

Granted, I am inhumanly rational and would probably make a good case study of some sort, but darn you irrational people. Stop trying to make me see sense in your irrationality. I just think you are stupid. But you poor irrational people, probably think that I am marveling at your blinding intellect or scalding sarcasm.

What makes you think that your well being affects my overall utility? Yes, if you are sick and busy and still want to torture yourself, fine with me. You can be a scientologist for all I care. Stop trying to convince me that just because I am not as sick or as tired as you, I should join you in your self torture. Yes, me torturing myself alongside you probably make you a tat happier, but really... I couldn't care less about your utility. We are totally independent. Correlation = 0.

You do not know what is best for me. Stop doing things in your own interest and pretend that it is for my good. I am so glad your irrationality does not factor (much) in my utility.

Cheers to rationality. May the rest of you stew in your irrationality.

New Yorkers are Hilarious

2010-02-04T17:05:00.001-05:00

Random Rant

2010-02-04T13:39:00.003-05:00

My life is rather uneventful these days. School is making me annoyed with people in general. People have always been rather annoying, it is perhaps amplified these days. Dragged home a huge bag (1kg?) of kimchi from Korean supermarket. Yeah, easy to use food. Kimchi and SPAM and rice is love. Lazy people's food.

My building is run by super useless management. Darn, I miss the things money can buy. Happiness without money is like ice cream without rainbow toppings. Satisfying but oh so not enough.

I am not

2010-01-16T01:39:00.003-05:00

Conversations

me: I am not a gym rat, I am a couch potato hamster.

Purin eating 2 burgers at Peter's Drive In in Calgary.

Merino felt balls I made to entertain myself.

Avatar Max

2009-12-28T18:04:00.003-05:00

Guess who?

Hahaha.. Max the dog... Too distracted playing with this instead of writing my paper!

Contemplating in Calgary

2009-12-22T05:25:00.003-05:00

Life is rather odd these days. I am up at some ungodly hour 3:26am Mountain Time after churning out some 20 page paper for school. Another 20 pages for another class tomorrow. Urgh.

Friend sends emo sms. Another sends a college essay. Is my life good or bad?

OF sleeps. I like the night. A certain peace to it.

Funniest line I heard in a long time

2009-12-19T01:06:00.003-05:00

My mother: tortoise is doing fine, having his douya lunch

douya (dou4 ya2): bean sprout

Annoying

2009-12-11T03:05:00.004-05:00

It annoys me beyond belief that NYC-ers are such lonely lonely lonely people. Argh!

They should totally learn to talk to their plant or something.

We are Sheep

2009-12-02T23:26:00.003-05:00

Too busy to write much. But in short, we are all sheep, being herded around by sheepdogs. We get to choose what kind of grass we want to munch on. We go baa baa, happy in our own sheepy way.

Moist Robots

2009-11-08T15:03:00.004-05:00

I spend most of my time learning about humans and human behavior. I find humans rather lame, 'moist robots' so to say (moist robot phrase is stolen from Scott Adams). My life is that philosophical. I am influenced by a comic writer.

But that is really not the point. I find most humans rather unappealing these days. I try to surround myself with nice people. But there are not many of such nice people lying around. Maybe I am just too picky. Moist robots need upgrades, perhaps a chip that programs them to be innately good.

Venn Diagram: Intelligent Design

2009-11-08T02:55:00.000-05:00

La Maison En Petites Cubes

2009-11-06T18:07:00.002-05:00

Another Chapter

2009-10-26T22:27:00.003-04:00

GeoCities is closing. Another chapter of my childhood is ending. The cool kids in class used to have geocities sites. I was never cool or tech enough to start one.

I so want to keep all the memories in little boxes so I can revisit them again. But I can't. I forget, I don't keep good enough records.

So this is what being old is like. Maybe when I am 60, I will look back and talk about the good old days when all the links to my past still exist.